Web Sex Log

Sexually dysfunctional women in the United States are, well, mostly out of luck.

Unlike men, there are no approved drugs to take. If you go strictly by the rules, the best medical science has to offer is counseling, or a device that applies suction to your clitoris, or physical therapy for your vagina. While not to diminish these choices, where’s that convenient, little blue pill for women?

That’s what Joanne wanted to know. This isn’t her real name, but she’s a 26-year-old nurse at the Cleveland Clinic who felt no sex drive — nothing, nada, zilch — for eight years. She wasn’t happy, and neither was her boyfriend.

When Joanne asked her gynecologist for help, she told her to talk to her psychiatrist. Her psychiatrist said her antidepressants were to blame — they’re known to decrease libido in about a third to a half of women, experts say.

“My psychiatrist just kind of shrugged her shoulders,” Joann says. “It was just like, well, that’s a side effect of the drug. That’s just the way it is.” Watch more on how women can get their groove back

Finally, fate intervened on behalf of Joann’s sex life. Last year, the anti-depressants she was taking stopped working, and her psychiatrist had to switch her to a new one. “All of a sudden, my sex drive went through the roof. It was awesome. It was wonderful,” she says.

But it wasn’t perfect, or even close to it. Probably because of her long-dormant sex drive, Joanne could get sexually excited, but couldn’t reach orgasm. Again, after being shuffled around to various doctors, Joanne ended up with a urogynecologist at the Cleveland Clinic.

That doctor prescribed the anti-impotence drug, Cialis. At first Joanne thought it strange to take a drug meant for a man. But she tried it, and she says it’s helped somewhat. “I’m still not able to achieve orgasm, but I’m getting closer each time,” Joanne says. “We’re working with changing the dosage.”

Getting help for women’s sexual problems is often a long and complicated road. “This is an area that’s highly neglected,” says Dr. Sharon Parish, an internist at the Albert Einstein School of Medicine who treats sexually dysfunctional women. “Many primary care doctors have no idea what to do.”

So if you want help for your sexual problems, you may have to make suggestions to your doctor. “I feel like if I hadn’t aggressively pursued it, I’d still be stuck in the same spot,” Joanne says.

Here are some treatments for sexual dysfunction you can discuss with your doctor. Women’s sexual dysfunction is an area of medicine that’s highly neglected, experts say.

5 ways to get sex life going for women

1. Impotence drugs such as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis

Some studies, like one out this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association, show they work for some women with sexual problems; others have shown they don’t work.
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A diminished sex drive may be linked with chronic oxygen deprivation in patients of obstructive sleep apnea, especially during episodes of obstructed breathing.

University of Louisville researchers found that after a week of being subjected to chronic oxygen deprivation (CIH), mice showed a 55% decline in their daily spontaneous erections. After five weeks of such exposure, average interval between mounting a mate increased 60-fold.

The study examined the behavioural and physiological effects in mice exposed to CIH for anywhere from five to 24 weeks. Control mice were kept under identical conditions, but were not subjected to nocturnal CIH.

In five out of seven mice tested, ejaculation did not occur at all, whereas in control mice the median time was only a few minutes, said Gozal.

The Simple Secret for More Sex

When women are rushed, sleep suffers — and so does your sex life

A recent survey of American women confirmed what most women already knew (and men suspected): They’re so rushed during the day that they don’t get enough sleep, and that means less sex for everyone. According to the National Sleep Foundation, women who are short on time first cut back on sleep and exercise. Next to suffer cutbacks: social life, healthy eating…and sex.

“This is the largest survey in the U.S. of women in all stages of their life,” says Dr. Meir Kryger, director of research and education of Sleep Medicine at Gaylord Hospital in Wallingford, CT. “It’s one of the first to take into account both biology and lifestyle.

“If poor sleep patterns are a daily occurrence for women, it severely impacts their energy towards sex in the bedroom — which is going to then affect men. It’s all interconnected, and recognizing the problem will help any relationship.”

Does this explain the “I’m too tired” excuse?

Clearly some women and men do say “I’m too tired” when they mean “I don’t want to”, “I’m too stressed”, “I have other things on my mind”, or “I’m annoyed with you”. What it means probably depends on the person. Often it is a way of getting out of sex without a confrontation — she could just be mad that you came home late and didn’t call or didn’t empty the dishwasher.

But the take-home message from this study should be that women (and likely men) are not getting enough sleep, bottom line, and that there are ways men and women, as partners, can improve this. Sleep has a very important effect — including having enough energy for sex as well as sexual performance, meaning orgasms for women and men, and erections for men.

Guys can always find time for sex. Why not women?

Men do not always budget time for sex, either; they may say that, but research shows that they don’t. Fatigue is a common reason that both men and women opt out of sex. Many people who deal with fatigue instead try to have sex in the morning when they may be less tired, if they tend to get more tired in the afternoon or evening. This may be a good solution for some men and their partners, too.

If more sleep equals more sex, what can men do to help women get more rest?

We know from years of research that even when couples start out in “equal” relationships, they tend over time to settle into more traditional roles, with women taking on more home and family tasks like homework, cooking, and cleaning, while men serve as breadwinners. Men may be able to ease their wife or girlfriend’s burden — and help her get more sleep — if they work with their partner to make the last few hours of the day more peaceful.

Here are some ideas:
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It’s the threesome of foreplay — only there’s no touching involved. Every now and then, a couple will steal away to a night club for a few hours of arousal. In a few situations, it’s a festive Chippendales venue; but in most cases, it’s a dimly-lit, somber, reserved experience with all eyes on the women.

Whether it’s a seedy hole in the wall or a high-class venue, scantily-clad women suggesting triple-X action is the theme of the show. Relegated as a male “pastime,” this world of table and lap dances is seen as his escape.

So when his partner is willing to get in on the act, eyebrows are raised.

Why in the world would any “respectable” woman want to go to a strip club? Such old-fashioned speculation comes swiftly, but is easily met with the fact that times have changed.

Plenty of women are all for a good striptease. In recent years, we’ve seen mothers and wives from coast to coast take to pole dancing, whether for exercise or to spice up their sex lives.

For those not into this type of naughty, the appeal is hard to fathom. What exactly is the draw of this pleasure pursuit as a pair?

Couples are going to strip clubs because

:

1. There’s no work involved.

Foreplay becomes a breeze even before you take your seat. Lovers often find themselves sexually excited at the mere prospect of going to a strip club. Yet this arousal goes far beyond pre-game show titillations, with lovers already anticipating what will happen once they get back home.

2. It’s a bonding experience.

Sure, strip clubs don’t exactly bring on the warm fuzzies, but they raise the temperature in other ways. Lovers enjoy “sharing” the stripper, but staying focused on their union by touching and flirting with each other. This sex worker becomes a mutual object of desire that can have partners feeling closer, sexually speaking.

3. They like the power dynamic.

It’s not PC to admit it, but some couples like that they’re the paying customer. Consciously or not, they’re into the sense that when they give the dancer money, they get to “own” her to some degree. The room full of naked gals is all about their pleasuring and nothing else.

4. The experience can make them feel sexier.

By identifying with the stripper’s sexuality or desiring it, lovers can feel more wanton in the process. In other cases, where a stripper looks particularly haggard, a woman may come away from the experience feeling confirmed (and relieved) that she’s more attractive than the gal on stage. After all, the slight jealousy that can be fueled by the experience acts as inspiration to outdo the stripper at some point.

5. It’s fun.

Going to strip clubs allows for novel experiences and variety, sometimes inspiring moves for bedroom action.

6. It’s so bad that it’s good.

Despite its popularity, the experience of going to a strip club is still very taboo in nature. Couples thrive off of doing the unconventional and feeling more than a bit naughty. This includes the turn-on of seeing a partner flirt with a stripper or vice versa.

7. It invites sex and only sex.

Going to a strip club can be the excuse couples need for not being emotionally intimate from time to time. It keeps the action at home more sex-focused and can act as a safety valve for those who cannot or don’t want to connect with their partner.

8. It’s safe.

Health-wise, going to a strip club invites some of the tag team experience without presenting the sexual health risks involved. Couples don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases, yet they can still relish the third-party effects.

9. It puts a woman’s mind at ease.

Even if they don’t like watching their men get turned on, some women would rather know what their partners are doing than be left wondering. Accompanying him to a strip club makes her feel like she’s more on top of his sexual liaisons.

Going to a strip club isn’t for every couple. If it goes against your values or invites sexual jealousy, then definitely stay away. But if your relationship can handle such experimentation, be sure to discuss ahead of time what is and isn’t allowed.

Is it okay to get a lap dance? What’s considered cheating? How will you handle amateur night?

Remember, flexibility is key, as the rules may need to change once you’re inside. Seeing strip club fantasies become reality can be difficult for some. It may tap insecurities for some, while the sight of often sad, blank-faced strippers evokes pity from others.

If your partner looks uncomfortable or wants to go, don’t make a big issue over it. Just be sure to tell — and later show — your lover that, at the end of the night, they’re always the star of the show.

…or If you prefer to have some striptease at home

Striptease tips:

The traditional striptease is not for everyone: some consider it the ultimate display of female sexual power, reducing male viewers to quivering bowls of jelly, while others find it embarrassing or even demeaning. One thing’s for sure: many a man truly enjoys the visual, so an erotic dance can be a generous gift. This is not to suggest that the ladies don’t like to look too. Or that a striptease can’t be a joint effort or a male endeavor — we think it should be, and often. Therefore a woman should feel free to tell her fella, “You first” or “Now your turn!” But for the sake of simplicity, the following tips are written assuming the lady in the relationship wants to be the first to perform. By the way, don’t think you need the body of a model or stripper to dance suggestively for your partner. He’ll be focused on the show, not on your so-called imperfections. You go-go girl! (Just please don’t install a pole in your bedroom.)

• Rent 9 1/2 Weeks to learn from Kim Basinger’s striptease: the outfit, the moves, the music, the shy-cheeky-sexy attitude (just ignore the disturbing plot line).
• Dance to a song that you’ll both enjoy — you should feel sexy moving to it, but he shouldn’t be thinking, “I can’t believe she’s still into boy bands.”
• Wear a shirt with buttons: it automatically creates 10 extra moves! Play peek-a-boob with each side. Once it’s undone, turn your back on him and shimmy it off your shoulders before dropping it to the floor. Oh, and don’t wear tight pants or jeans. Because if you can look sexy while you take those off, then you can quit your day job. Instead, wear a pencil skirt that you can push down (while bending forward with your back or side to him) and then step out of. Throw clothes in his direction as you remove them.

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A surprising new study reveals that casual sex may not cause emotional or psychological damage.

Despite the pervasive belief that hooking up casually is detrimental to the well-being of young adults, researchers found that not to be the case in a recent study, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

The study asked 1,311 Minnesota-based young adults, between the ages of 18 and 24, about their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.

Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual. And overall, their emotional status wasn’t any different from those who said their last sexual experience was with a committed partner.

“We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, who is an assistant professor at the university School of Public Health.

“The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades,” she said, adding that abstinence-only sex education programs in particular enforce this notion.

However, researchers said that this doesn’t mean casual sex is for everyone - and Eisenberg is quick to warn of the physical consequences of casual sex. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases continue to increase and teen pregnancy rates in Minnesota in particular are also on the rise, according to the Star Tribune.

Casual Sex Doesn’t Cause Emotional Damage

No additional risk seen for those in uncommitted relationships

Young adults who have casual sex are no more likely than those in committed relationships to experience psychological problems, new research has found.

In the study, University of Minnesota researchers analyzed the responses of 737 females and 574 males, mean age 20.5, who were asked about their sexual behaviors and emotional well-being. Among those who were sexually active, 55 percent said their last sexual partner was an exclusive dating partner. An additional 25 percent said they were engaged to, or a spouse or life partner of their last sexual partner. Another 12 percent said it was a close but not exclusive partner, and 8 percent said it was a casual acquaintance.

More than twice as many males as females said their last sexual partner was a casual acquaintance or a close but not exclusive partner, the study authors noted.

In this study to determine if sexual activity outside a committed relationship causes emotional damage to young people, the researchers found no differences in the mental well-being of participants who had a casual partner or a committed partner.
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People do not share the same clear, unbiased definition of what constitutes sex. This was exemplified when former President Bill Clinton explained his relationship with Monica Lewinsky as one where: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” This statement launched a fury of discourse around what it really means to have sex.

Yet there are plenty of others scenarios that beg equal scrutinizing. Here are just a few…

1. The extramarital affair where no more than oral sex is exchanged.
2. Intimacy where only sex toys are used for pleasuring.
3. A person exchanging sexual thoughts with a stranger online.

Would you say any of these persons had “sex?”

While probing such matters, research conducted by the Kinsey Institute in 1999 found that 99.5 percent of respondents regarded intercourse as sex, while only 40 percent believed oral sex to be sex.

Research efforts since then, largely involving respondents reacting to a list of sexual behaviors and labeling them as sex or not, have found similar assessments in the U.S., Canada, Australia and the U.K. Very few respondents regard kissing as sex.

Taking a deeper look at how people define sex, a 2007 study at the University of Kansas asked 51 women and 49 men to rate experiences as “almost but not quite sex” or “just barely sex.” As expected, there was a great deal of ambiguity in the participants’ definitions of sex.

What threw academics for a loop was the fact that even when participants were able to define sex, their definition was inconsistent with their own descriptions of whether their own behavior classified as “sex” or not. Basically, an individual’s definition changed based on the consequences involved in using the label “sex” and their perceptions of the sexual exchange.

Consider that one survey respondent described a scenario where she and her partner engaged in breast play and oral sex. Intercourse was attempted, but stopped because it hurt. Despite recognizing that she had engaged in intercourse, she reported being unsure if she’d ever had sex and still considered herself a virgin.

So what are some of the criteria that impact what constitutes sex for an individual? The body of research has highlighted a number of factors that play into the assessment, including:

1. The Journal of Sex Research found that people are likelier to count an encounter as sex if it resulted in orgasm.
2. Oral sex is likelier to be labeled sex by the recipient than by the giver.
3. Study participants at the University of Kansas admitted that labeling an interaction as sex can depend on what they were thinking about or who they were discussing the matter with. Sexologists also see technology, the media, and laws as all further influencing what gets labeled as sex.
4. Was there consent or alcohol involved? Individuals may be less willing to label an act as sex if they were intoxicated or unable to agree to relations.
5. Sexual orientation often plays a role. A person who identifies as lesbian, for example, may not consider an intimate exchange with a male as sex because the behavior is inconsistent with her sexual orientation.
6. Seeing an experience as sex or not can have a lot to do with whom you’re trying to please. As highlighted in an episode of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” if you don’t believe that oral sex is sex, then everyone wins.

Ultimately, what defines sex for an individual may boil down to the costs versus benefits of labeling it. The University of Kansas study highlighted the fact that people adjust their definition from one situation to the next. Their motivation for this is to realize a positive result and advance their own particular interests.

Those who don’t want to label an experience as sex are often doing so to avoid negative self-evaluations. For women, this may include the desire to see themselves as virgins. For men, this may be due to not wanting to have sex with the wrong person or harm a friendship.
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You just had the most incredible sex of your life. Only you can’t remember it. Sounds like a sick joke, but forgetting the absolutely unforgettable is a real occurrence.

Lovers have been known to blank out on entire sexual experiences, having no recollection of the event or their orgasmic responses.

What exactly is this phenomenon? And could it ever happen to you?

Sexual amnesia can happen to anyone, and most unexpectedly. Did you and your lover really have sex this morning or is your sweetie pulling your leg? Why do you have no recollection of that night of passion? What exactly happened with the hottie you brought home last night?

In many of these baffling cases, alcohol or drugs aren’t to blame. But you can point the finger at another culprit. Well-described in medical literature since 1956, transient global amnesia (TGA) is known as “recurrent coital amnesia” when it is triggered by sex. During such sudden, temporary memory loss, a person’s ability to recall recent events and new information totally disappears.

Suddenly, you can’t remember where you are or how you got there. You do know who you are, and can recognize and name the familiar, including your sexual partner (unless you just met). You just can’t remember what happened during this memory impairment and possibly anything that happened several hours before its onset.

So what brought on this state? Surprisingly, this rare, short-lived phenomenon isn’t due to a neurological condition, like epilepsy or stroke, or recent head injury. Instead, TGA is typically traced to a stressful emotional or physical event. These include:

With sex in particular, TGA is typically triggered after climax. Medical practitioners have also noticed that using the Valsalva method — a discouraged sex move involving squeezing the pelvic floor muscles while pressing down, as though having a bowel movement — precedes TGA in some males.

Sex-related or not, one thing all of these factors have in common is a sudden lack of blood flow to the brain. Brain scans indicate that blood flow to areas of the brain involving memory appears disrupted during TGA. And any time blood flow is restricted to the brain, a person’s ability to record new memory is severely impaired.

Because it cannot be distinguished from other life-threatening conditions, immediate medical attention needs to be sought when TGA strikes during or after intercourse. Dead giveaways that something is wrong include babbling, apparent confusion and repeatedly asking questions about ongoing events like “What are we doing?” or “What time of year is it?”

When asked by their partner or later by a doctor, they’re unable to correctly answer questions like “Who is the president?” or “What year is it?” Equally perplexing, however, is the fact that one’s vocabulary and movement are not impaired. There is no clouded consciousness.

Other symptoms may include headache, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, agitation, dizziness, chills, fear of dying, “pins-and-needles” sensation, trembling, sweating, visual disturbance, racing heartbeat, cold hands and feet, and great emotionality.

TGA episodes last an average of six hours (going for no more than 24 hours), with one’s memory returning gradually. Thankfully, all indicators are that a person’s memory is OK afterward, and the TGA has apparently done no damage. One’s immediate recall ability appears to be preserved.

TGA is equal opportunity when it comes to sex and race, but those over 49 are at higher risk of experiencing this sudden memory loss. Physical events tend to precipitate TGA in men, while emotional events, a history of anxiety, or pathological personality are more associated with women.

While the underlying cause is unknown, a history of migraines is a prime suspect for any individual. Experiences with migraines or coital headaches (sex headaches) have been linked to some who experience TGA.

Overall, incidence in the U.S. is 5.2 cases per 100,000 individuals. Interestingly, this is higher than incidence estimates in Alcoi, Spain, which is at 2.9 cases per 100,000, but lower than the 10 cases per 100,000 in Belluno, Italy. While the annual recurrence is low, over one’s lifetime, recurrence can be as high as 24 percent, which may work to your advantage.

After all, almost any lover is open to a good excuse when it comes to rationalizing having done anything regrettable. TGA may just be the perfect fib for that unfortunate time you forget your partner’s birthday, anniversary or seemingly most amazing sex session.

Amnesia After Sex

If President Clinton had known what a pair of Johns Hopkins doctors recently learned from two patients with a temporary form of amnesia, charges that he lied about sex might be moot.

Chi Van Dang, M.D., Ph.D., and Lawrence B. Gardner, M.D., hematologists, found that bearing down hard the way some people do when they move their bowels, deliver a baby or have sexual intercourse can produce six to 12 hours of transient global amnesia — the inability to form new memories.

Reporting in this week’s issue of The Lancet, the Hopkins team reports global amnesia in two men, ages 72 and 75, whose wives took them to the hospital half an hour or so after sex when the men became seriously confused although remaining fully conscious. In one case, the patient thought he’d had a stroke.
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There’s new advice for older men who want to preserve their sexual function: have sex, and have it often, researchers say.

In a study that followed nearly 1,000 older Finnish men for five years, researchers found that those who were regularly having sex at the start of the study were at lower risk of developing erectile dysfunction (ED) by the study’s end.

In fact, the more often the men had sex, the lower their ED risk.

The implication, say the researchers, is that men should be encouraged to stay sexually active into their golden years.

Dr. Juha Koskimaki and colleagues at the University of Tampere in Finland report the findings in the American Journal of Medicine. The study included 989 men who were between the ages of 55 and 75 at the outset.

Overall, those who said they had sex less than once per week were twice as likely to develop ED over the next five years as men who had sex at least once a week. Furthermore, compared with men who had sex three or more times per week, their ED risk was increased nearly four-fold.

A number of factors contribute to ED development, many of which could also affect a man’s sexually activity — such as age, diabetes and heart disease. However, after taking account of those factors, sexual activity itself remained linked to ED risk, Koskimaki’s team found.

It may be a matter of “use it or lose it,” according to the researchers. Just as exercise boosts physical fitness, they note, regular sexual activity may help a man preserve his erectile function.

ED occurs when there are problems with blood flow to the penis. Regular sexual activity, Koskimaki’s team writes, may help maintain healthy blood vessel function in the erectile tissue.

Sex Tips for older men

Getting older changes sexual function and desire. Senior sex isn’t the same as it was in your 20s — but it can still be satisfying. Contrary to common myths about sexuality and older adults, sex is not just for the young. Many seniors continue to enjoy their sexuality into their 80s and beyond.

A healthy sex life is not only fulfilling, but it’s also good for other aspects of your life, including your physical health and self-esteem. Adapting to your changing body can help you maintain a healthy and satisfying sex life. But you may have to make a few changes, such as allowing yourself more time to become aroused and talking more openly with your partner.

What changes as men get older?

As men age, testosterone levels decline and changes in desire and sexual function are common. These changes can include:
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It’s a common complaint of some postmenopausal women - painful sexual intercourse. The condition is medically known as dyspareunia and it’s no fun at all.

Doctors often attribute the problem to declining estrogen levels, which can lead to changes in the genital tract, including vaginal atrophy. The usual treatment is hormone replacement therapy, which can be applied directly to the sensitive region or taken in pill form.

But McGill University researchers have found that a significant number of women - up to 20 per cent - don’t respond to hormone therapy and they are seldom offered other treatments.

“Pain during intercourse can affect your relations with your partner, your image as a woman, your mood, all sorts of things,” said Irv Binik, director of the sex and couple therapy service at McGill University Health Centre in Montreal.

He said it is a mistake for doctors to assume all cases of painful intercourse after menopause are linked to the reduction in female hormone levels that occur with normal aging.

“It just isn’t that simple for a lot of women,” said Dr. Binik, senior author of the study that will be published in the journal Pain Research and Management.

Lots of other factors, including problems with pelvic floor muscles, dermatological conditions and infections, can make sex an unpleasant experience, according to Alina Kao, a PhD student who led the research project.

That also means there are a variety of different treatments - from physical therapy to traditional pain management - depending on the underlying cause.

However, Dr. Binik cautioned that these options are not usually quick fixes. “All of them take time and effort,” he said. “It’s not like popping a pill or putting on a cream.”

Myths About Postmenopausal Pain During Sex Shattered

Using hormone replacement therapy to alleviate painful sexual intercourse in post-menopausal women is not effective for a significant proportion of sufferers, according to a review study by McGill doctoral candidate Alina Kao, a student of Professor Irv Binik’s Laboratory for the Biopsychosocial Study of Sexuality. “This often-prescribed hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has mainly been studied in women who suffer from vaginal atrophy, a condition caused by declining estrogen levels, and changes in the genitals,” Kao said.

Although postmenopausal dyspareunia is a widespread problem which seriously affects a woman’s quality of life, Kao’s research team found that little is known about women’s primary complaint: pain.

Traditionally, postmenopausal dyspareunia has been attributed to declining estrogen levels and the changes this decline causes in the genital tract. Postmenopausal women have been prescribed hormonal replacement therapy to alleviate this problem.

Roughly one in three postmenopausal women suffer from dyspareunia, Kao said.

In questioning the effectiveness of HRT, Kao’s team found the therapy is not effective for a substantial proportion (10 – 27 per cent) of women. There may also be factors other than declining estrogen involved and these should be considered in future studies, the researchers concluded.

Although the use of a lubricant does help to decrease friction during intercourse, it generally does not alleviate the pain of dyspareunia, Kao said. This is likely because pain is often caused by factors other than lack of lubrication.

“In looking at the evidence, it seems there are numerous types of conditions that cause pain during intercourse in postmenopausal women, such as infections, dermatological conditions, problems with the pelvic floor muscles and chronic vulvar pain syndromes, to name a few,” Kao said. “However, these conditions are being overlooked by most treatment guidelines and healthcare providers,” she said. “Women shouldn’t have to ‘live with their pain;’ they deserve appropriate treatment geared to the causes of their individual pain conditions.”

Kao and her research team are conducting a multidisciplinary investigation, based on the emerging findings of this review, to classify the different factors associated with pain during intercourse in postmenopausal women. Women who take part in this research receive comprehensive medical and psychosocial evaluations of the causes and effect of their dyspareunia, as well as individualized treatment recommendations and referrals.

How Does Menopause Affect Sex Drive?

The loss of estrogen following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s sexual drive and functioning. Menopausal and postmenopausal women may notice that they are not as easily aroused, and may be less sensitive to touching and stroking — which can result in decreased interest in sex.

In addition, lower levels of estrogen can cause a decrease in blood supply to the vagina. This decreased blood flow can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable intercourse.

A lower estrogen level is not the only culprit behind a decreased libido; there are numerous other factors that may influence a woman’s interest in sexual activity during menopause and after. These include:
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It’s because some fear, anxiety or inhibition has worked its way into her brain, halting all action. If her comfort zone is threatened, she’ll no longer be in the mood.

Here are some of the major issues haunting her during sex play, plus ways to remedy the situation.

1. He’s expecting her to perform like a porn star.

She may be worried about having to perform a sexual act she’s not comfortable with, or maybe she fears he’d rather be watching a porn star than having sex with her.

The fix: Avoid putting pressure on your partner to act out what you’ve seen in porn flicks. By suggesting a sex act, don’t let her know that you saw it in an X-rated movie — frame it as your idea and something with the potential to turn both of you on. Also, use this as an opportunity to explore what she might want to do. She may surprise you.

2. Somebody’s response time is going to be “off.”

When it comes to sexual response, she could be worried that things are going to go one of two ways: (1) her partner is off to the races as soon as they hit the sheets; or (2) her arousal and orgasmic abilities will feel delayed. She starts to fret over her lover not lasting long enough for her excitement to match his. Or she’s worried that she’s going to take forever to climax, if she does at all.

The fix: If you tend to be a rabbit, don’t turn your sex session into a race, rushing through the entire experience.

Ask her to guide you in matching her pace, having her control the rhythm and speed. To amp up her arousal level, pay special attention to her clitoris, maintaining such stimulation throughout foreplay and intercourse.

Above all, make sure you’re communicating. Don’t get caught up in your experience, make it a shared one. Ask about her needs, as this will also give her a sense of control over the situation and give her emotional reassurances about her partnership.

3. He’ll notice her cellulite or stretch marks.

Puckered, dimpled skin or scar tissue can make anybody feel conscious. But as a lover is kissing, massaging, or orally pleasuring your nether regions, thus coming face to face with these natural “imperfections,” they can feel magnified. Those unable to get past their negative body image shut down sexually.

The fix: Let her know that you adore her for more than her physical appearance. Give her compliments regularly both in and out of the boudoir, highlighting what makes her sexy. Encourage physical activities the two of you can pursue together, the payoff being that she’ll slowly feel better about her form and more confident in her own, cellulite-splattered skin.

4. She’ll look “fat” in her lingerie.

While barely-there styles can tap our inner vixen, they typically require a body in peak condition. Lingerie highlights every roll, lump, and flabby area, which reminds her that she’s no Heidi Klum. This can kill her sexy siren nature.

The fix: She needs to explore undergarments that flatter her form. Spanx lingerie and hosiery, for example, appeal to women looking to slim their midsection or firmly support their hips and thighs while donning panties, camisoles or full-body slips.

Until such a purchase is made, turn off the lights or adjust them for mood lighting to invite lingerie loving. Yes, this kind of defeats the purpose of intimate apparel, but she won’t feel nearly as self-conscious. She can still feel sexy in sporting lingerie, with both of you relishing the feel of the fabrics gracing her body.

5. She’ll get pregnant.

Research conducted by the Guttmacher Institute this past summer found that, given the current economic situation, nearly half of women surveyed wanted to delay pregnancy or limit the number of children they have. Concerns over the economy also had approximately half of these women, ages 18-39, focusing more on effective contraceptive use.

Unfortunately, for one-quarter of these women, tough times have meant a harder time paying for their contraceptive methods. Almost one in four women has postponed a gynecologic or birth control visit in the last year to save money.

The fix: Make sure you’ve got an ample condom supply. Offer to help pay for her gynecological care and contraceptives. Pregnancy prevention should always be a team effort.

6. She’ll get an STD.

Women are more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) than men. For example, with HIV, a female is twice as likely to be infected by a male as vice versa. This is in large part because our reproductive organs leave us more exposed to an STD than do men’s. Complicating matters is the fact that it’s also harder for women to notice symptoms, since infections are often asymptomatic.

The fix: If lovers aren’t abstaining from sex involving the transmission of fluids or skin-on-skin contact, they should use protection to minimize the risk of infection. Women, especially, need to be proactive in protecting themselves, since a recent World Health Organization report found that young women make up more than 60 percent of 15 to 24-year-olds who have HIV/AIDS.

What Causes Fear Of Sex?

Sex is everywhere. Sex sells, right? You see sex on television, in movies and you hear it in music. It’s on billboards, in newspaper ads and all over the Internet. So logically, as a society, we don’t seem very afraid of sex, do we? Surprisingly enough, many people still have a deep seated, irrational fear of sex, masturbation and other sex related things. Why is this fear irrational, and what causes it? What can you do about it?
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Men and women in their early seventies are having sex more often and enjoying it more than their counterparts three and four decades ago, according to a Swedish study published Wednesday.

Septuagenarian women in particular expressed satisfaction with their amorous activities, suggesting they may have benefited more from the loosening of sexual mores.

Despite an array of literature on the sexual habits and attitudes of younger adults, very little is known about what happens between the sheets for healthy men and women aged 70 and older.

Previous research has tended to focus on what goes wrong, sexually speaking, which has created the impression that the sex life of older people is dismal or non-existent.

Not true, according to Nils Beckman, a doctoral candidate at the University of Gothenburg.

“Our study shows that most elderly people consider sexual activity and associated feelings a natural part of later life,” he said.

Compared to the same age group in 1971, nearly twice as many married female septegenarians reported having sexual intercourse in 2001, and a sharply higher percentage said they “always or usually” experienced orgasms, noted the study.

And while more than 10 percent of women interviewed 40 years ago had never had sex at all, by century’s end that percentage had dropped to 0.4 percent — a single respondent out of 229.

For men, too, sex at 70 on the cusp of the 21st century seemed to bring more pleasure than for older men of a previous generation.

But the news was not totally good: more men in 2001 also complained of low or no satisfaction, perhaps reflecting a cultural shift in openness in talking about sex.

And while the number of men reporting erectile dysfunction dropped, a higher number of men said they had ejaculation problems. The rate of premature ejaculation did not change.

Beckman and colleagues studied attitudes towards sex in later life based on interviews with Swedish 70-year-olds at four different points in time: 1972, 1977, 1993 and 2001.

The study is published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ).

“The implication is that a generation’s sexual change — perhaps linked to the sexual revolution of 1965-75 — is evident in this latest cohort of 70-year-olds,” Peggy Kleinplatz, a professor at the University of Ottawa in Canada, wrote in a commentary, also in the BMJ.

More over 70s ‘are enjoying sex’

More couples over 70 are having sex - and finding it satisfying - than in previous generations, a British Medical Journal survey suggests.

Swedish researchers asked 1,500 older people across a 30-year period about their sex lives.

The number of people saying they had sex increased - as did the number of women reporting having orgasms.

A UK expert said the older people of today grew up in more sexually liberated eras.
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