July 26th, 2010 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health | No Comments »
Men who cheat on their spouses have always enjoyed an expedient explanation: Evolution made me do it. Many articles (here is one, and here is another), especially in recent years, have explored the theory that men sleep around because evolution has programmed them to seek fertile (and, conveniently, younger) wombs.
But what about women? If it’s really true that evolution can cause a man to risk his marriage, what effect does that have on women’s sexuality?
A new journal article suggests that evolutionary forces also push women to be more sexual, although in unexpected ways. University of Texas psychologist David Buss wrote the article, which appears in the July issue of Personality and Individual Differences, with the help of three graduate students, Judith Easton (who is listed as lead author), Jaime Confer and Cari Goetz. Buss, Easton and their colleagues found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger women. Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period. And they are more willing than younger women to have casual sex, even one-night stands. In other words, despite the girls-gone-wild image of promiscuous college women, it is women in their middle years who are America’s most sexually industrious.

By contrast, men’s sexual interest and output, usually measured by a reported number of orgasms per week, peaks in the teen years and then settles to a steady level (an average of three orgasms per week) for most of their lives. As I pointed out in March, most men remain sexually active into their 70s. According to the new study, as well as the study I wrote about in March, women’s sexual ardor declines precipitously after menopause.
Why would women be more sexually active in their middle years than in their teens and 20s? Buss and his students say evolution has encouraged women to be more sexually active as their fertility begins to decline and as menopause approaches.
Here’s how their theory works:
Our female ancestors grew accustomed to watching many of their children — perhaps as many as half — die of various diseases, starvation, warfare and so on before being able to have kids of their own. This trauma left a psychological imprint to bear as many children as possible. Becoming pregnant is much easier for women and girls in their teens and early 20s — so much easier that they need not spend much time having sex.
However, after the mid-20s, the lizard-brain impulse to have more kids faces a stark reality: it’s harder and harder to get pregnant as a woman’s remaining eggs age. And so women in their middle years respond by seeking more and more sex.
To test this theory, Buss and his students asked 827 women to complete questionnaires about their sexual habits. And, indeed, they found that women who had passed their peak fertility years but not quite reached menopause were the most sexually active. This age group — 27 through 45 — reported having significantly more sex than the two other age groups in the study, 18 through 26 and 46 and up. Women in their middle years were also more likely than the younger women to fantasize about someone other than their current partner. The new findings are consistent with those of an earlier Buss paper, from 2002, which found that women in their early 30s feel more lustful and report less abstinence than women in other age groups. In both studies, these findings held true for both partnered and single women, meaning that married women in their 30s and early 40s tend to have more sex than married women in their early 20s; ditto for single women. Also, whether the women were mothers didn’t matter. Only age had a strong affect on women’s reported sexual interest and behavior.
And yet there are a few flaws with the data in the new paper. Chiefly: some three-quarters of the participants in the study were recruited on Craigslist, a website where many go to seek hookups, meaning there was a self-selection problem with the sample. (The other participants were students at the University of Texas in Austin.) The authors also note that there are some alternative explanations for why women in their 30s and early 40s might be more sexual. Many of them may simply be more comfortable with sex than women in their teens and early 20s. Still, that raises the question of why they are more comfortable: perhaps evolution programmed that comfort.
Women More Interested in Sex as They Get Older
A new study suggests that 27 to 45-year-old women think more about sex and have more sex than women in other age groups.
According to conventional wisdom, men have sex on the brain from puberty until, roughly, death. The Kinsey Institute, which uses somewhat more refined measurements, reports 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day. It adds this is true of only 19 percent of women, making for quite a gender gap.
However, new research suggests that for females, the answer to that question may vary considerably depending upon one’s age.
According to a new study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, women’s interest in sex peaks between age 27 and 45. A research team led by psychologist Judith Easton of the University of Texas at Austin concludes this is an unconscious reaction to declining fertility.
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March 29th, 2010 | Posted in Sex and health, Sexual health | No Comments »
Just in case avoiding death isn’t a good enough reason to pay attention to your health, researchers from the University of Chicago offer another incentive: people who are healthy have better – and longer – sex lives.
Stacy Tessler Lindau and Natalia Gavrilova examined data from more than 6,000 American adults between ages 25 and 85. The men and women provided information about their overall physical health and their activity between the sheets.
The researchers found that people in “very good” or “excellent” health were 50% to 80% more likely to be interested in sex than those in poorer health.
What’s more, being in good health greatly boosted the odds of being sexually active. Healthy men were 2.2 to 4.6 times more likely to be sexually active than their unhealthy peers; for women, being healthy increased the likelihood of an active sex life by 1.6 to 2.8 times.
And among those who were having sex, those in good health were more likely to say their sex life was good. For men, good health meant having sex more frequently as well.
Sex Life Ends at about 70

The average person’s sex life ends by the age of 70, according to a report published today in the British Medical Journal.
Men age 30 have an average of 35 years of sexually active life remaining, compared with 31 years for women, researchers at the University of Chicago’s department of obstetrics and gynecology estimated after reviewing a survey of 3,000 people. A separate survey of older people showed that by 55, men have an average sexual life expectancy of 15 years and women can expect 10 more years, the researchers found.
People in very good or excellent health were almost twice as likely to be interested in sex as people in poorer health, according to the study. Men lost more years of sexual activity as a result of poor health than women, the researchers said. That may motivate men to pursue healthier lifestyles, they said.
“Translation of expectations about the duration and quality of sexually active life may, at the individual level, influence important health behaviors to promote or prolong sexual functioning, such as adherence to medical treatment or maintenance of a healthy lifestyle,” the researchers wrote.
In statistics, projections of how long people will live vary according to age. Life expectancy increases as people reach middle age because they have survived risks that earlier in life reduced their chances of making it to old age.
The team, led by Stacy Tessler Lindau, used data from a 1995-1996 survey of 3,000 men and women between ages 25 and 74 and a 2005-2006 survey of 3,000 men and women between 57 and 85. Men were more likely than women to be sexually active, report a having a good quality sex life and be interested in sex, according to the study.
The gap was largest among 75- to 85-year-olds. About 40 percent of men in that group were sexually active, compared with 17 percent of women, the researchers found.
Sex, health, and years of sexually active life gained due to good health: evidence from two US population based cross sectional surveys of ageing
Stacy Tessler Lindau, associate professor, Natalia Gavrilova, senior research associate
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December 14th, 2009 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health | No Comments »

A surprising new study reveals that casual sex may not cause emotional or psychological damage.
Despite the pervasive belief that hooking up casually is detrimental to the well-being of young adults, researchers found that not to be the case in a recent study, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
The study asked 1,311 Minnesota-based young adults, between the ages of 18 and 24, about their most recent sexual experiences, their self-esteem and their general well-being after the experience.
Only one-fifth of the subjects said their most recent experience was casual. And overall, their emotional status wasn’t any different from those who said their last sexual experience was with a committed partner.
“We were so surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, who is an assistant professor at the university School of Public Health.
“The conventional wisdom is that casual sex, ‘friends with benefits,’ and hooking up is hurtful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for decades,” she said, adding that abstinence-only sex education programs in particular enforce this notion.
However, researchers said that this doesn’t mean casual sex is for everyone - and Eisenberg is quick to warn of the physical consequences of casual sex. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases continue to increase and teen pregnancy rates in Minnesota in particular are also on the rise, according to the Star Tribune.
Casual Sex Doesn’t Cause Emotional Damage
No additional risk seen for those in uncommitted relationships
Young adults who have casual sex are no more likely than those in committed relationships to experience psychological problems, new research has found.
In the study, University of Minnesota researchers analyzed the responses of 737 females and 574 males, mean age 20.5, who were asked about their sexual behaviors and emotional well-being. Among those who were sexually active, 55 percent said their last sexual partner was an exclusive dating partner. An additional 25 percent said they were engaged to, or a spouse or life partner of their last sexual partner. Another 12 percent said it was a close but not exclusive partner, and 8 percent said it was a casual acquaintance.
More than twice as many males as females said their last sexual partner was a casual acquaintance or a close but not exclusive partner, the study authors noted.
In this study to determine if sexual activity outside a committed relationship causes emotional damage to young people, the researchers found no differences in the mental well-being of participants who had a casual partner or a committed partner.
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December 3rd, 2009 | Posted in Sex and health | No Comments »

You just had the most incredible sex of your life. Only you can’t remember it. Sounds like a sick joke, but forgetting the absolutely unforgettable is a real occurrence.
Lovers have been known to blank out on entire sexual experiences, having no recollection of the event or their orgasmic responses.
What exactly is this phenomenon? And could it ever happen to you?
Sexual amnesia can happen to anyone, and most unexpectedly. Did you and your lover really have sex this morning or is your sweetie pulling your leg? Why do you have no recollection of that night of passion? What exactly happened with the hottie you brought home last night?
In many of these baffling cases, alcohol or drugs aren’t to blame. But you can point the finger at another culprit. Well-described in medical literature since 1956, transient global amnesia (TGA) is known as “recurrent coital amnesia” when it is triggered by sex. During such sudden, temporary memory loss, a person’s ability to recall recent events and new information totally disappears.
Suddenly, you can’t remember where you are or how you got there. You do know who you are, and can recognize and name the familiar, including your sexual partner (unless you just met). You just can’t remember what happened during this memory impairment and possibly anything that happened several hours before its onset.
So what brought on this state? Surprisingly, this rare, short-lived phenomenon isn’t due to a neurological condition, like epilepsy or stroke, or recent head injury. Instead, TGA is typically traced to a stressful emotional or physical event. These include:
— Hard physical exertion;
— Sudden cold or hot water immersion;
— Overwhelming emotional distress from bad news, conflict or working too hard;
— Medical procedures, like an endoscopy (a minimally invasive medical procedure);
— Sexual intercourse.
With sex in particular, TGA is typically triggered after climax. Medical practitioners have also noticed that using the Valsalva method — a discouraged sex move involving squeezing the pelvic floor muscles while pressing down, as though having a bowel movement — precedes TGA in some males.
Sex-related or not, one thing all of these factors have in common is a sudden lack of blood flow to the brain. Brain scans indicate that blood flow to areas of the brain involving memory appears disrupted during TGA. And any time blood flow is restricted to the brain, a person’s ability to record new memory is severely impaired.
Because it cannot be distinguished from other life-threatening conditions, immediate medical attention needs to be sought when TGA strikes during or after intercourse. Dead giveaways that something is wrong include babbling, apparent confusion and repeatedly asking questions about ongoing events like “What are we doing?” or “What time of year is it?”
When asked by their partner or later by a doctor, they’re unable to correctly answer questions like “Who is the president?” or “What year is it?” Equally perplexing, however, is the fact that one’s vocabulary and movement are not impaired. There is no clouded consciousness.
Other symptoms may include headache, nausea, vomiting, anxiety, agitation, dizziness, chills, fear of dying, “pins-and-needles” sensation, trembling, sweating, visual disturbance, racing heartbeat, cold hands and feet, and great emotionality.
TGA episodes last an average of six hours (going for no more than 24 hours), with one’s memory returning gradually. Thankfully, all indicators are that a person’s memory is OK afterward, and the TGA has apparently done no damage. One’s immediate recall ability appears to be preserved.
TGA is equal opportunity when it comes to sex and race, but those over 49 are at higher risk of experiencing this sudden memory loss. Physical events tend to precipitate TGA in men, while emotional events, a history of anxiety, or pathological personality are more associated with women.
While the underlying cause is unknown, a history of migraines is a prime suspect for any individual. Experiences with migraines or coital headaches (sex headaches) have been linked to some who experience TGA.
Overall, incidence in the U.S. is 5.2 cases per 100,000 individuals. Interestingly, this is higher than incidence estimates in Alcoi, Spain, which is at 2.9 cases per 100,000, but lower than the 10 cases per 100,000 in Belluno, Italy. While the annual recurrence is low, over one’s lifetime, recurrence can be as high as 24 percent, which may work to your advantage.
After all, almost any lover is open to a good excuse when it comes to rationalizing having done anything regrettable. TGA may just be the perfect fib for that unfortunate time you forget your partner’s birthday, anniversary or seemingly most amazing sex session.
Amnesia After Sex
If President Clinton had known what a pair of Johns Hopkins doctors recently learned from two patients with a temporary form of amnesia, charges that he lied about sex might be moot.
Chi Van Dang, M.D., Ph.D., and Lawrence B. Gardner, M.D., hematologists, found that bearing down hard the way some people do when they move their bowels, deliver a baby or have sexual intercourse can produce six to 12 hours of transient global amnesia — the inability to form new memories.
Reporting in this week’s issue of The Lancet, the Hopkins team reports global amnesia in two men, ages 72 and 75, whose wives took them to the hospital half an hour or so after sex when the men became seriously confused although remaining fully conscious. In one case, the patient thought he’d had a stroke.
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January 4th, 2009 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health, Sexual health | No Comments »
We all know that regular sex is an important part of a healthy, happy relationship, but did you know that regular sex is also an important part of a healthy, happy body? Indeed, sex is more than just a pleasurable activity - it is a big part of who we are, both emotionally and physically.
A recent Newsweek article found that regular sex has six amazing health benefits - it can increase a youthful appearance, it can promote the production of germ-fighting antibodies, it can strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor, it can burn calories, it can stabilize a woman’s menstrual cycle and it can offer natural pain relief in the form of orgasms.
While a healthy sex life can contribute to a healthy body, an unhealthy body can also contribute to an unhealthy sex life. If your sex life has been lackluster or sub-par lately, the reasons might be more obvious than you might think:
Poor nutrition: Fast food not only does a number on your waistline, it can also do a number on your sex life. This is particularly true as we age and reach menopause. During menopause, estrogen levels get out of whack, which causes insulin levels to increase and thyroid levels to go down. Thus, women end up eating more food and burning fewer calories, which causes weight to accumulate. Healthy food choices are imperative during this time, as is daily exercise. (Don’t forget to take advantage of Newsweek’s findings - sex is a cardiovascular exercise, so trade it in for the stationary bike and you can still burn up to 300 calories an hour!)
Stress: Expanded waistlines can also be due to another hormone: cortisol. Otherwise known as the stress hormone, cortisol can lead to all kinds of health problems, including excess abdominal fat. Cortisol is also a known libido-killer, so it is no wonder that sex is the last thing on your mind after a bad day at work. Exercise and meditation can decrease cortisol to a healthy level, which can improve your blood pressure and your love life. Another good way to decrease stress is to keep a “gratitude journal” - researchers have found that people who express gratitude and appreciation daily feel less stressed out than people who do not.
Lack of sleep: Insomnia is often a vicious cycle, beginning with a caffeine overdrive in the morning, and ending with exhaustion in the evening. Most Americans would agree that they barely have the energy for sex at the end of the day! Improve your sleeping habits - and consequently, your sex habits - by cutting back on caffeine throughout the day. Substitute your giant cup of a coffee with a small cup of tea, and snack on foods like almonds throughout the day - they give you a natural burst of energy without the sugar dip that comes from a candy bar.
Last but not least, get the television out of your bedroom! A recent study found that the blue lights emitted from TV can disrupt sleeping patterns and restfulness throughout the entire night. And, finally, if you really just don’t have the energy for sex in the evening, make an effort to rise a little early in the morning in order to have time for sex before work.
Good health and good sex go hand-in-hand. And, since most of us are making resolutions to be healthier in 2008, it is good to know that regular intercourse is a big part of being in tip-top shape. Finally, a resolution that will be fun to keep!
Major Health Benefits of Sex
Many people simply enjoy a healthy sex life because sex is pleasurable. Now there’s another reason to stay under the sheets; there are substantial health benefits of sex. Enjoying a rigorous romp can do wonders for everyone both physically and psychologically. Now, men everywhere can tell their ladies that sex is not only for fun, but, since there are health benefits of sex, their lives may depend on it.
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December 16th, 2008 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health | No Comments »
Sex – it does the body good.
Yet most of us are quicker to hit the gym before hitting the sheets when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill.
As research confirms time and time again, good sex in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship can only better our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. Sex, in this context, offers us tons of benefits, most of which aren’t touted nearly enough.
Here are just a few benefits:
— Weight loss and weight control. Forget torturing yourself with the latest fad diet or hours on the elliptical machine when you can burn about 200 calories in 30 minutes of sex! Lovemaking lends itself to improved strength, flexibility, muscle tone, and cardiovascular conditioning. Plus, there’s something super sexy about getting to sleep with your very own “personal trainer.”
— Pain management. Forgo popping a pain killer and opt for something a bit more “au naturel.” Sex has been shown to offer migraine and menstrual cramp relief, as well as alleviate chronic back pain thanks to the endorphins and corticosteroids released during sexual arousal and orgasm.
— Stress relief. Sex, even if only with ourselves, impacts the way we respond to stress, increasing levels of oxytocin and stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation. What better way to unwind from a tough day than sharing its most climactic moment with your special someone?
— Immune booster. Stop spending late nights at the office. Sex wards off colds and the flu. And sexually active people take fewer sick days, giving the phrase “working late” an entirely new meaning. Bosses, take note.
— Better heart health. A little bit of heart and soul in the sack should be part of every doctor’s orders when it comes to cardiovascular care. Sex may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attack.
— Increased self-esteem and intimacy. When sex is consistent and involves mutual pleasure, it can increase bonding since the surge in oxytocin at orgasm stimulates feelings of affection, intimacy, and closeness. When spiritual in nature, sex can lead to an even better quality of life and stronger relationship. Is it any wonder that good sexual energy in a positive relationship can make you feel better about yourself, your partner, and life in general?
— Sleep enhancement. There’s no need to count sheep when sex, including masturbation, helps insomnia. Plus, making love sure beats tossing and turning your way to zzzz’s.
— A better, younger looking you. Sex keeps you looking and feeling younger and, according to some research, may lead to shiny hair, a glowing complexion and bright eyes. This is because it increases the youth-promoting hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone). And feeling more attractive charges your sex life even more.
— Mood lifter. Sex releases pleasure-inducing endorphins during arousal and climax that can relieve depression and anxiety, and increase vibrancy.
— Longevity. There is a significant relationship between frequency of orgasm and risk of death, especially with men. Men who orgasm two times a week have a 50 percent lower chance of mortality than those who climax one time per month. The bonus: Living longer also gives you and your honey the opportunity for even more lovin’!
— Decreased risk of breast cancer. One study of women who had never given birth found that an increased frequency of sexual intercourse was correlated with a decrease in the incidence of breast cancer.
— Reproductive health benefits. According to at least one study, sex appears to decrease a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and the prevention of endometriosis in women. It also promotes fertility in women by regulating menstrual patterns.
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March 26th, 2008 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health, Sexual health | No Comments »
When you’re in the mood, it’s a sure bet that the last thing on your mind is boosting your immune system or maintaining a healthy weight. Yet good sex offers those health benefits and more.
That’s a surprise to many people, says Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York psychologist and sex therapist. “Of course, sex is everywhere in the media,” she says. “But the idea that we are vital, sexual creatures is still looked at in some cases with disgust or in other cases a bit of embarrassment. So to really take a look at how our sexuality adds to our life and enhances our life and our health, both physical and psychological, is eye-opening for many people.”
Sex does a body good in a number of ways, according to Davidson and other experts. The benefits aren’t just anecdotal or hearsay — each of these 10 health benefits of sex is backed by scientific scrutiny.
Among the benefits of healthy loving in a relationship:
1. Sex Relieves Stress
A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction, according to researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal Biological Psychology. They studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity. Then the researchers subjected them to stressful situations — such as speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic — and noted their blood pressure response to stress.
Those who had intercourse had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained.
Another study published in the same journal found that frequent intercourse was associated with lower diastolic blood pressure in cohabiting participants. Yet other research found a link between partner hugs and lower blood pressure in women.
2. Sex Boosts Immunity
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections. Scientists at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., took samples of saliva, which contain IgA, from 112 college students who reported the frequency of sex they had.
Those in the “frequent” group — once or twice a week — had higher
levels of IgA than those in the other three groups — who reported being abstinent, having sex less than once a week, or having it very often, three or more times weekly.
3. Sex Burns Calories
Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.
“Sex is a great mode of exercise,” says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says.
4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that’s not so, according to researchers from
England. In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years.
And the heart health benefits of sex don’t end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.
5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex, collected by University of Texas researchers and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.
That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. “One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves,” she tells WebMD. “Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.”
6. Sex Improves Intimacy
Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the
so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Researchers from
the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59
premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. Tey found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels.
“Oxytocin allows us to feel the urge to nurture and to bond,” Britton says.
Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you’re feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone.
7. Sex Reduces Pain
As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain
declines. So if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels.
In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and
Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half.
8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.
Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical
Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.
9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you’ll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.
To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor, as if you’re trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release.
10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better
The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.
And getting enough sleep has been linked with a host of other good things, such as maintaining a healthy weight and blood pressure. Something to think about, especially if you’ve been wondering why your guy can be active one minute and snoring the next.
And in short: :)
- Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth.
- Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
- Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
- Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscles in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps and you don’t need special sneakers!
- Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases the body endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
- The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
- Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium.
- Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
- Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
- A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
There’s only 8 reasons to make love in the next abstract:
Back in the 1940s, a renegade shrink named Wilhelm Reich recommended an orgasm every day to stay healthy. It was part of his reasons for sex he called the “sexual revolution.” Unfortunately, folks were strung pretty tight back then, and they threw Reich’s ass in prison, where orgasms aren’t nearly as much fun.
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February 17th, 2008 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health, Sex and pregnancy, Sexual health | No Comments »
After childbirth, sex may be the last thing on your mind. If you’re feeling up to it, follow your sex drive where it leads.
Sex after pregnancy happens. Honestly. But first, vaginal soreness and sheer exhaustion are likely to take a toll. Whether you’re in the mood or sex is the last thing on your mind, here’s what you need to know about sex after pregnancy.
After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?
Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal.
But the other important timeline is your own. Some women feel ready to resume sex within a few weeks of giving birth. Others need more time. Factors such as fatigue, postpartum blues and changes in body image may take a toll on your sex drive.
Will it hurt?
Your vagina may be dry and tender, especially if you’re breast-feeding. To ease any discomfort, take it slow. Start with cuddling, kissing or massage. Gradually build the intensity of stimulation. If vaginal dryness is a problem, use a lubricating cream or gel. Try different positions to take pressure off any sore areas and control penetration. Tell your partner what feels good — and what doesn’t.
If sex continues to be painful, consult your doctor. A low-dose estrogen cream applied to the vagina often helps. Rarely, complications of healing may require additional treatment.
Will it feel different?
After several vaginal deliveries, decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex — which can influence arousal. To tone your pelvic floor muscles, remember to do your Kegel exercises. Simply tighten your pelvic muscles as if you’re stopping your stream of urine. Try it for five seconds at a time, four or five times in a row. Repeat throughout the day.
What about birth control?
Unless you’re hoping to become pregnant right away, sex after pregnancy requires a reliable method of birth control — even if you’re breast-feeding. Barrier methods such as condoms and spermicides can be useful. If you prefer hormonal birth control, it’s important to select a method that doesn’t interfere with breast-feeding. Your postpartum checkup is a great time to ask your doctor about the options.
What if I’m too tired to have sex?
Caring for a newborn can be exhausting. If you’re too tired to have sex at bedtime, say so. But that doesn’t mean your sex life is over. You may prefer making love early in the morning or during your baby’s nap. Feed your baby first to extend the time you and your partner have together.
What if I’m not interested in sex?
That’s OK. There’s more to a sexual relationship than intercourse — especially when you’re adjusting to life with a new baby. If you’re not feeling sexy or you’re afraid sex will hurt, share your concerns with your partner. Until you’re ready to have sex, maintain intimacy in other ways. Spend time together without the baby, even if it’s just a few minutes in the morning and after the baby goes to sleep at night. Share short phone calls throughout the day or occasional soaks in the tub. Look for other ways to express affection.
If communicating with your partner doesn’t help, be alert for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. If your mood is consistently low, you find little joy in life or you have trouble summoning the energy to start a new day, contact your doctor promptly.
What can I do to boost my sex drive?
Go easy on yourself. Set reasonable expectations as you adjust to parenthood. Appreciate the changes in your body. Eat healthy foods, and drink plenty of fluids. Exercise regularly. Rest as much as you can. Spend some time alone. Taking good care of yourself can go a long way toward keeping passion alive.
Will childbirth affect your sex life?
Yes, it certainly will! So please don’t expect that everything will instantly return to normal. Men are particularly likely to believe this; a lot of young blokes think that they’ll be able to have intercourse as soon as their partner gets home from hospital. But that just isn’t true.
You see, childbirth is a pretty traumatic process for a woman. Having a baby pass through her vagina is almost like having a small explosion go off inside her. The delicate vaginal tissues are inevitably strained, bruised and torn – and it takes some weeks for these injuries to heal up.
Furthermore, childbirth involves very considerable hormone changes hormone changes – as well as emotional stresses. Therefore, very, very few women feel rampagingly sexy until a long time after they have given birth.
Therefore, it’s important for both mother and father to realise that lovemaking may not go brilliantly in the first six months or so after Baby arrives. So be prepared - and be patient!
How soon can you resume having sex?
In general, a woman shouldn’t consider having full sex (ie intercourse) until after her postnatal check-up. This examination usually takes place about six weeks after the birth.
Even then, she may not feel ready to ‘go all the way’ - particularly if she has had stitches and the opening of her vagina is sore.
If you’re in any doubt about whether to resume sex, ask the doctor who does your postnatal examination for advice – particularly about using additional lubrication..
Can you go in for any other sexual activity before resuming intercourse?
Yes – and it can be a good way of ‘letting off steam’. Couples do often get very frustrated when they’re waiting to resume sexual intercourse. This applies particularly to men!
So, in the meantime, you can go in for loveplay - though there is one danger, which we’ll explain in a moment.
Can both of you go as far as the point of climax? Definitely! It will do the postnatal woman no harm at all to have orgasms if she wants to.
So, things you can do include:
- hand petting on the man by the woman - what’s often called a ‘hand job’.
- hand petting of the woman by the man - using his fingers to stimulate her clitoris. But he should not put his fingers inside until she has had her postnatal examination and the doctor has said that everything has healed up. So, just stick to stroking and rubbing the outside of her sex organs. It’s quite safe to pay plenty of attention to her clitoris, which is well away from the area where stitches are put in.
- oral sex performed on the man by the woman. This type of loveplay - termed ‘fellatio’- often proves a great boon to a male who is desperate for sexual release.
- mutual caressing of various other parts of each other’s bodies.
Is there anything we should avoid?
Yes. Please heed this important warning. You’ll note that in the section above we have not recommended oral sex performed by the man on the woman (ie ‘going down ‘ on her).
This activity - often termed ‘cunnilingus’ - is definitely off limits during the first few of months after childbirth.
Why? For two reasons:
- it could introduce infection into the vagina and womb.
- even more seriously, it has occasionally led to death. These tragedies have occurred because the man has (often accidentally) managed to blow air into the vagina. Air can very easily get into the blood vessels of the newly-delivered womb - and cause an often fatal illness called ‘air embolism’. Not long ago, the British newspapers reported an appalling case in which a man forced his wife into cunnilingus shortly after she came home from hospital, puffed air into her – and killed her.
Is it OK to handle the breasts after childbirth?
Yes, it is OK - provided the woman feels happy about it. But don’t go in for ‘boob play’ if she develops any kind of breast disorder, such as a nipple crack or an abscess.
Do feelings for the new baby affect your sex life?
Absolutely! You’ll find that a great deal of time has to be spent taking care of the new baby. Most new mothers - and plenty of new fathers too - feel exhausted because they are never able to get sufficient sleep. This may go on for months - or even a couple of years.
During this time, a man can feel as if his partner is pushing him away. He may think that she is lavishing all her attention on the baby and this may make him feel jealous, or left out.
After watching a partner go through pregnancy and birth, some men gain a new respect for the female body. These guys find it easier to articulate the emotions they feel about the new phase of their relationship and become more considerate of their partner’s changing needs.
But a few men who have been at the birth of their child are quite distressed by what they have seen. Indeed, some of them feel so guilty at the pain their partner has gone through that they are unable to even consider the idea of making love with her again. This is usually just a passing phase, but not always. And such a man should seek help from a counsellor to discuss his feelings.
To create and maintain a good atmosphere in the home, your relationship has to be one of trust and mutual respect. Both partners need to try to understand the other’s point of view. It is vital at this time that the couple can still do things together without the baby being involved so that they can enjoy the feelings they had for each other before they became parents.
We do urge new parents to take advantage of any offers of babysitting that come their way from fond grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends so they can go out together - or even just retire to bed for a sleep and perhaps a spot of sex!
What happens to the female sex drive after birth?
Most women don’t feel very keen on sex for at least a few weeks after childbirth and the main reason for this is simply exhaustion. If the delivery was long or difficult, the woman may also feel anxious about getting pregnant again.
Generally, women start getting their desire back within a couple of months of having a baby. If your libido doesn’t return, then you should seek help from a doctor. Female medics at family planning clinics are particularly good at helping to deal with this problem because they see it all the time.
What do you do when you want to resume sexual intercourse after the birth of your child?
When you’re both ready to have intercourse after the birth, you should begin gently. If possible, try and find a time of the day when you are not too worn out. Also, try to find a time when the baby is not likely to wake up - so you can have some peace and quiet.
Hormone changes and worry can lead to some women experiencing vaginal dryness for the first three months after giving birth. But you don’t take hormones for this. Instead, buy lubricants over the counter from a pharmacist. Try K-Y Jelly, Liquid Silk, or Pjur. Some condoms have a built-in lubricant that may help.
For the first few sex sessions after childbirth, it’s a good idea to choose a position in which the woman can control the pace and depth of penetration. A position with her on top, or one where both partners lie side-by-side facing each other, may be more comfortable.
Don’t forget contraception. It’s very easy to become pregnant again - far sooner than you intended. Try and decide on some form of family planning by the time your baby is four weeks old. If in doubt, ask the doctor at your postnatal examination about contraception.
What do you do if the woman doesn’t regain her interest in sex?
This is quite common. Please bear in mind that it could be a symptom of postnatal depression (PND). If the woman is at all depressed, she should see her GP.
Otherwise, the best thing is for the couple to get some counselling from an expert in sexual problems, for instance at:
- Relate
- Couple Counselling Scotland
- A Family Planning Clinic.
With commonsense advice, a loving couple can usually gets things sorted out – though it may take some months.
During 2005, certain new treatments for increasing female libido are due to come onto the market. They include:
- a testosterone (male hormone) gel.
- a testosterone skin patch.
- alprostadil gel (ALISTA) – a jelly intended for application to the clitoris and surrounding area.
- Eros – a vibrating suction device which is already available, but not on the NHS.
Unfortunately, Viagra and similar drugs have not so far been convincingly shown to help new mothers who are having difficulties with sex. However, in mid-2005, doctors from St Mary’s Hospital, London, published a very small series of cases in which women with poor libido seemed to be helped by using Viagra. But as this treatment is not licensed, it is not available from your GP.
Sex after baby: Do you really have to wait?
This question is very appropriate because many women are anxious to resume an active sex life after giving birth and are afraid to ask their care providers. about this issue.
You may be surprised to learn that the restrictions regarding resumption of sexual intercourse after birth are largely a result of “folk wisdom.” There are no research-based studies that show an ideal waiting time. Women should be given the freedom to chose when they wish to resume sex after birth.
It is observed that it takes approximately six weeks for the uterus to return to “normal” size after vaginal birth. So, early “authorities” felt that the proscription against intercourse should coincide with this landmark.
What we actually see in practice, however, is that some women are emotionally and physically ready for intercourse much earlier. Williams Obstetrics, a respected text, states: “following an uncomplicated delivery, a six-week abstinence from intercourse makes little sense. It can be safely resumed in as little as three weeks or when comfort can be maintained”.
From your description, it sounds as if you may be ready for intercourse far earlier than some other women. If you have had no tearing or episiotomy, and your lochia (bleeding) has changed from red to pink and is scant in amount, it is probably fine for you to resume sexual relations as soon as two weeks postpartum. I would advise this additional week to assure the healing and closure of the cervix.
You will want to protect yourself from another pregnancy by using a contraceptive method.
You should not resume sexual relations if you have any fever, malodorous discharge or red bleeding.
For some women, it takes much longer than six weeks until they are ready to make love. Advice should be provided to women based on individual variations.
A review entitled “Sexuality during Pregnancy and the Year Postpartum” was published in The Journal of Family Practice (1998) by J. Byrd et al. 47(4), 305-8. It reported that “there is little agreement in the findings of research on the resumption of sexual activity following childbirth”. They state that “at five to seven weeks postpartum, only 50 percent of women had resumed intercourse.” Numerous reasons have been suggested for the delay in resumption of vaginal intercourse after childbirth. The principal ones are: pain related to an episiotomy; vaginal bleeding or discharge; fatigue and discomfort related to inadequate lubrication of the vagina, due to low levels of estrogen in the postpartum period.
Women who have had a lengthy labor following a high risk pregnancy or women who have had a birth assisted by a vacuum extraction, forceps or cesarean, may not wish, nor perhaps should they, resume intercourse until 8 to 12 weeks postpartum, or perhaps even longer. Women who suffer extensive perineal tearing, or those with a large episiotomy or mediolateral episiotomy, may not be “comfortable” for several months after the birth.
Resuming intimacy after giving birth
After giving birth many women go through a period of adjustment to their “new” body. You may wonder if you will lose the weight you gained during pregnancy and if you will ever get your figure back again. It can be very helpful to see that you are still desired by your partner.
The postpartum period is a good time to explore being close to your partner without sexual intercourse. You both may be eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make love again, and this is an important time to approach each other with tenderness and continued communication.
You may find that you have little or no interest in sexual intercourse immediately following childbirth. When you are ready, you can resume sexual intercourse when your perineum is comfortable, the episiotomy has healed, and the lochia has stopped.
It is common to feel very dry and lack the vaginal lubrication that had been normal for you. This is due to the reduced estrogen after the delivery of the placenta. Prolactin and oxytocin can also interfere with lubrication if you are nursing. It is normal for vaginal dryness to last up to six months. You can apply a water-based vaginal lubricant, such as astroglide or liquid silk, to help make intimacy more pleasurable. If intercourse causes you discomfort, you may want to wait a little longer or find other sexual practices that you and your partner enjoy.
Because there is decreased tone in the perineal muscles you may notice less pleasurable friction during intercourse. You may find that your orgasms are less intense for the first few months. These are normal occurrences after giving birth. To help increase muscle tone, resume your Kegel exercises (perineal tightening) that you learned in childbirth class. Practice Kegel exercises at least 50 times every day, slowly increasing to 100 repetitions.
Because you are probably fatigued after giving birth, you may want to experiment with making love in the morning or afternoon, rather than at the end of a day when you are already too tired. If you are breastfeeding, nurse your baby prior to your lovemaking to help extend the time you and your partner have together.
While conception is highly unlikely in the postpartum period, when exclusive breastfeeding, if another pregnancy is not desired at this time, it would be wise to resume the use of contraceptives. Discuss your options with your care provider.
February 16th, 2008 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health, Sex and pregnancy, Sexual health | No Comments »
If you want to get pregnant, you have sex. No surprises there. But what about sex while you’re pregnant? The answers aren’t always as clear. Here’s what you need to know about sex during pregnancy.
Is it OK to have sex during pregnancy?
As long as your pregnancy is proceeding normally, you can have sex as often as you like. But you may not always want to. At first, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue and nausea may sap your sexual desire. During the second trimester, increased blood flow to your sexual organs and breasts may rekindle your desire for sex. But by the third trimester, weight gain, back pain and other symptoms may once again dampen your enthusiasm for sex.
Can sex cause a miscarriage?
Many couples worry that sex during pregnancy will cause a miscarriage, especially in the first trimester. But sex isn’t a concern. Early miscarriages are usually related to chromosomal abnormalities or other problems in the developing baby — not to anything you do or don’t do.
Does sex harm the baby?
The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as the mucous plug that blocks the cervix throughout most of your pregnancy. Your partner’s penis won’t touch the baby.
Are any sexual positions off-limits during pregnancy?
As your pregnancy progresses, experiment to find the most comfortable positions. There’s just one caveat. Avoid lying flat on your back during sex. If your uterus compresses the veins in the back of your abdomen, you may feel lightheaded or nauseous.
What about oral sex?
If you have oral sex, make sure your partner does not blow air into your vagina. Rarely, a burst of air may block a blood vessel (air embolism) — which could be a life-threatening condition for you and the baby.
Can orgasms trigger premature labor?
Orgasms can cause uterine contractions. But these contractions are different from the contractions you’ll feel during labor. Research indicates that if you have a normal pregnancy, orgasms — with or without intercourse — don’t lead to premature labor or premature birth.
Are there times when sex should be avoided?
Although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes it’s best to be cautious.
- Preterm labor. Exposure to the prostaglandins in semen may cause contractions — which could be worrisome if you’re at risk of preterm labor.
- Vaginal bleeding. Sex is not recommended if you have unexplained vaginal bleeding.
- Problems with the cervix. If your cervix begins to open prematurely (cervical incompetence), sex may pose a risk of infection.
- Problems with the placenta. If your placenta partly or completely covers your cervical opening (placenta previa), sex could lead to bleeding and preterm labor.
- Multiple babies. If you’re carrying two or more babies, your doctor may advise you not to have sex late in pregnancy — although researchers have not identified any relationship between sex and preterm labor in twins.
Should my partner use a condom?
Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases during pregnancy increases the risk of infections that can affect your pregnancy and your baby’s health. If you have a new sexual partner during pregnancy, use a condom when you have sex.
What if I don’t want to have sex?
That’s OK. There’s more to a sexual relationship than intercourse. Share your needs and concerns with your partner in an open and loving way. If sex is difficult, unappealing or off-limits, try cuddling, kissing or massage.
The Joy of Sex During Pregnancy
Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.
Many expectant parents worry that sex can be harmful during pregnancy. They fear that intercourse could hurt the baby, or even cause miscarriage. Some are afraid that the baby somehow “knows” that sex is taking place. The partner sometimes worries that intercourse might cause discomfort or pain for the pregnant woman. Worries like this are common and completely normal, but most of them are unfounded.
If your pregnancy is considered to be high risk, you may need to be more cautious than other women. Your health care provider may advise you to avoid intercourse for all or part of your pregnancy.
The Changes of Pregnancy
Many women are not very interested in sex while they are pregnant. Exhaustion, raging hormones, tender breasts and self-consciousness about her growing girth can put a pregnant women’s sex drive on hold. Take heart in the fact that most couples resume an active sex life sometime during the first year of their baby’s life.
Many women find that pregnancy makes them want sex more than they did before they became pregnant. This sex drive is caused by hormonal changes. For some women, newfound voluptuousness can play a role in making them feel sexier than ever.
Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby’s development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back after the fourth month of pregnancy, because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position, such as lying sideways or having the woman on top.
As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom’s abdomen.
Suggestions for You and Your Partner
- If you’re concerned, ask your health care provider if it’s okay to have sex.
- Talk to each other about your needs and concerns in an open and loving way. If you work together, you can probably figure out how to put a smile on each other’s face.
- Let mutual pleasure and comfort be your guide. If something doesn’t feel physically or emotionally right to one of you, change what you’re doing.
- Keep your sense of humor.
- To avoid sexually transmitted infections, have sex with only one person who doesn’t have any other sexual partners and/or use a condom when having sex. Discuss HIV testing for you and your partner with your health care provider.
- If the pregnancy is high risk or if you have any questions at all, ask for guidance from your health care provider.
- After the baby is born, wait until after your postpartum checkup before you resume intercourse.
February 1st, 2008 | Posted in All about sex, Sex and health | No Comments »
Plenty of sex, dark chocolate and cold meats are the latest keys to boosting your brain power, according to a new book published in Britain.
Authors Terry Horne and Simon Wootton believe those who want to stop their brain deteriorating should avoid watching TV soap operas, smoking cannabis and mixing with moaners.
While sex, dark chocolate and eating cold meats for breakfast top the list for the best ways to keep the brain fit, cuddling babies, cheating at homework, doing a business degree and reading out loud are also recommended.
“People can make lifestyle choices that will constantly increase our cognitive capacity throughout our adult lives lives,” Horne, a university lecturer, told the Daily Mail.
“Mix with people who make you laugh, have a good sense of humour or who share the same interests as you and avoid people who whinge, whine and complain as people who are negative will make you depressed.”
Horne and Wootton say they base their theories, contained in their book Teach Yourself: Train Your Brain, on research carried out by experts around the world.
Many of their recommendations are based on various chemical reactions within the body brought on by certain activities.
Sex and chocolate ‘boost brain power’
Lots of sex, dark chocolate and the Scandinavian routine of cold meat for breakfast are the best ways to boost brain power, a new book claims.
Study finds acrylamide link to cancer in women
And watching soap operas, mixing with serial moaners and fat-free diets should be avoided in the quest for increased mental ability, the book says.
Much of the advice in Teach Yourself Training Your Brain is unconventional, but its co-authors, Terry Horne and Simon Wootton, say it is based on leading scientific research.
They claim that people can combat the considered wisdom that the brain deteriorates with age.
Mr Horne, a university lecturer, said: “For decades we have thought that the capacity of our brains is genetically determined, whereas it’s now clear it’s a lifestyle choice.
“People can make lifestyle choices that will not only prevent what used to be seen as an inevitable decline in cognitive ability after the age of 17, but will constantly increase it throughout our adult lives.
“Our suggestions will empower people to develop their cognitive capacity or just to let it die.”
The book analyses how diet, the environment and stress affect mental capacity. It offers advice and mental exercises for people hoping to increase their brain power.
Much of the book’s suggestions are based upon the chemicals that certain activities release in the body.
It says that sexual intercourse increases the body’s levels of the hormone oxytocin, which induces a readiness to think of novel solutions, while the post-coital rise in serotonin levels also helps both creative thinking and logic.
In terms of food, the book suggests that the hidden ingredients of dark chocolate - such as magnesium and antioxidants - help get more oxygen to the brain.
It also recommends eating cold meat for breakfast to increase the body’s energy levels and nutrient intake.
The authors will be hoping the book cashes in on the increasingly lucrative brain-training market - the games manufacturer Nintendo has sold 10 million of its hand-held Brain Age games this year.
The book also advises on the kind of company one should keep. Mr Horne said: “Mix with people who make you laugh. Avoid people who whinge, as people who are negative will make you depressed.”
How to get most out of food for your brain:
• Do eat oily fish, which are high in omega 3 fatty acids
• Do eat broccoli, a great source of vitamin K
• Do eat a diet rich in wholegrain foods such as cereals and pasta
• Do eat tomatoes, high in antioxidants
• Do eat blackcurrants, rich in Vitamin C
• Don’t drink too much alcohol, which kills off brain cells
• Don’t skip breakfast, it’s a vital source of the energy
• Don’t eat too many high-fat foods
• Don’t eat too much junk food or drink too many fizzy drinks
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