He-he. That would be rather funny if it was not a serious question. 11% of British people surveyed by the Department for Children, Schools and Families (DCSF) still believe a woman can’t get pregnant if she has sex standing up, according to a recent poll.

The DCSF commissioned the survey of 2,000 people aged 16-50 to highlight misconceptions around safe sex.

Almost 20% per cent thought having sex while a woman is on her period or if the man withdraws before ejaculation means a woman can’t get pregnant.

The survey found that 26% of couples never discuss contraception and 31% never talk about sexual health - such as sexually-transmitted infections - with their partner.

62% of British people admitted to turning discussions on the topic of sex into a joke.

Dr.Pam Spurr, a sex and relationships expert, said: “In spite of our love of talking about sex and relationships, the survey suggests it’s our lack of knowledge that is causing confusion.

“I’m encouraged to see that we’ve overcome a long-held aversion to talking about sex, but we’ve still got some way to go before we swap jokes and banter for the open, honest and informed conversations about sexual health and relationships that most of us would like.”

Lisa Power, head of policy at the Terrence Higgins Trust, said: “We’re delighted that the Government has acknowledged the importance of both better education and peer influence in the way people make decisions about their sexual health.

“Ignorance is just as transmissible as chlamydia or HIV and we need to take firm steps to prevent all of those things from spreading.”

Sex standing up prevents pregnancy, say British

More than one in 10 British people do not realise that a woman can still get pregnant if she has sex standing up, according to a poll.

Nearly one in five - 19 per cent - are also unaware that a woman can get pregnant during her period, or if the man withdraws before ejaculation, according to the government-commissioned survey.
Read the rest of this entry »

After childbirth, sex may be the last thing on your mind. If you’re feeling up to it, follow your sex drive where it leads.

Sex after pregnancy happens. Honestly. But first, vaginal soreness and sheer exhaustion are likely to take a toll. Whether you’re in the mood or sex is the last thing on your mind, here’s what you need to know about sex after pregnancy.

After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?

Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal.

But the other important timeline is your own. Some women feel ready to resume sex within a few weeks of giving birth. Others need more time. Factors such as fatigue, postpartum blues and changes in body image may take a toll on your sex drive.

Will it hurt?

Your vagina may be dry and tender, especially if you’re breast-feeding. To ease any discomfort, take it slow. Start with cuddling, kissing or massage. Gradually build the intensity of stimulation. If vaginal dryness is a problem, use a lubricating cream or gel. Try different positions to take pressure off any sore areas and control penetration. Tell your partner what feels good — and what doesn’t.

If sex continues to be painful, consult your doctor. A low-dose estrogen cream applied to the vagina often helps. Rarely, complications of healing may require additional treatment.

Will it feel different?

After several vaginal deliveries, decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasurable friction during sex — which can influence arousal. To tone your pelvic floor muscles, remember to do your Kegel exercises. Simply tighten your pelvic muscles as if you’re stopping your stream of urine. Try it for five seconds at a time, four or five times in a row. Repeat throughout the day.

What about birth control?

Unless you’re hoping to become pregnant right away, sex after pregnancy requires a reliable method of birth control — even if you’re breast-feeding. Barrier methods such as condoms and spermicides can be useful. If you prefer hormonal birth control, it’s important to select a method that doesn’t interfere with breast-feeding. Your postpartum checkup is a great time to ask your doctor about the options.

What if I’m too tired to have sex?

Caring for a newborn can be exhausting. If you’re too tired to have sex at bedtime, say so. But that doesn’t mean your sex life is over. You may prefer making love early in the morning or during your baby’s nap. Feed your baby first to extend the time you and your partner have together.

What if I’m not interested in sex?

That’s OK. There’s more to a sexual relationship than intercourse — especially when you’re adjusting to life with a new baby. If you’re not feeling sexy or you’re afraid sex will hurt, share your concerns with your partner. Until you’re ready to have sex, maintain intimacy in other ways. Spend time together without the baby, even if it’s just a few minutes in the morning and after the baby goes to sleep at night. Share short phone calls throughout the day or occasional soaks in the tub. Look for other ways to express affection.

If communicating with your partner doesn’t help, be alert for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. If your mood is consistently low, you find little joy in life or you have trouble summoning the energy to start a new day, contact your doctor promptly.

What can I do to boost my sex drive?

Go easy on yourself. Set reasonable expectations as you adjust to parenthood. Appreciate the changes in your body. Eat healthy foods, and drink plenty of fluids. Exercise regularly. Rest as much as you can. Spend some time alone. Taking good care of yourself can go a long way toward keeping passion alive.

Will childbirth affect your sex life?

Yes, it certainly will! So please don’t expect that everything will instantly return to normal. Men are particularly likely to believe this; a lot of young blokes think that they’ll be able to have intercourse as soon as their partner gets home from hospital. But that just isn’t true.

You see, childbirth is a pretty traumatic process for a woman. Having a baby pass through her vagina is almost like having a small explosion go off inside her. The delicate vaginal tissues are inevitably strained, bruised and torn – and it takes some weeks for these injuries to heal up.

Furthermore, childbirth involves very considerable hormone changes hormone changes – as well as emotional stresses. Therefore, very, very few women feel rampagingly sexy until a long time after they have given birth.

Therefore, it’s important for both mother and father to realise that lovemaking may not go brilliantly in the first six months or so after Baby arrives. So be prepared - and be patient!

How soon can you resume having sex?

In general, a woman shouldn’t consider having full sex (ie intercourse) until after her postnatal check-up. This examination usually takes place about six weeks after the birth.

Even then, she may not feel ready to ‘go all the way’ - particularly if she has had stitches and the opening of her vagina is sore.

If you’re in any doubt about whether to resume sex, ask the doctor who does your postnatal examination for advice – particularly about using additional lubrication..

Can you go in for any other sexual activity before resuming intercourse?

Yes – and it can be a good way of ‘letting off steam’. Couples do often get very frustrated when they’re waiting to resume sexual intercourse. This applies particularly to men!

So, in the meantime, you can go in for loveplay - though there is one danger, which we’ll explain in a moment.

Can both of you go as far as the point of climax? Definitely! It will do the postnatal woman no harm at all to have orgasms if she wants to.

So, things you can do include:

• hand petting on the man by the woman - what’s often called a ‘hand job’.
• hand petting of the woman by the man - using his fingers to stimulate her clitoris. But he should not put his fingers inside until she has had her postnatal examination and the doctor has said that everything has healed up. So, just stick to stroking and rubbing the outside of her sex organs. It’s quite safe to pay plenty of attention to her clitoris, which is well away from the area where stitches are put in.
• oral sex performed on the man by the woman. This type of loveplay - termed ‘fellatio’- often proves a great boon to a male who is desperate for sexual release.
• mutual caressing of various other parts of each other’s bodies.

Is there anything we should avoid?

Yes. Please heed this important warning. You’ll note that in the section above we have not recommended oral sex performed by the man on the woman (ie ‘going down ‘ on her).

This activity - often termed ‘cunnilingus’ - is definitely off limits during the first few of months after childbirth.

Why? For two reasons:

• it could introduce infection into the vagina and womb.
• even more seriously, it has occasionally led to death. These tragedies have occurred because the man has (often accidentally) managed to blow air into the vagina. Air can very easily get into the blood vessels of the newly-delivered womb - and cause an often fatal illness called ‘air embolism’. Not long ago, the British newspapers reported an appalling case in which a man forced his wife into cunnilingus shortly after she came home from hospital, puffed air into her – and killed her.

Is it OK to handle the breasts after childbirth?

Yes, it is OK - provided the woman feels happy about it. But don’t go in for ‘boob play’ if she develops any kind of breast disorder, such as a nipple crack or an abscess.

Do feelings for the new baby affect your sex life?

Absolutely! You’ll find that a great deal of time has to be spent taking care of the new baby. Most new mothers - and plenty of new fathers too - feel exhausted because they are never able to get sufficient sleep. This may go on for months - or even a couple of years.

During this time, a man can feel as if his partner is pushing him away. He may think that she is lavishing all her attention on the baby and this may make him feel jealous, or left out.

After watching a partner go through pregnancy and birth, some men gain a new respect for the female body. These guys find it easier to articulate the emotions they feel about the new phase of their relationship and become more considerate of their partner’s changing needs.

But a few men who have been at the birth of their child are quite distressed by what they have seen. Indeed, some of them feel so guilty at the pain their partner has gone through that they are unable to even consider the idea of making love with her again. This is usually just a passing phase, but not always. And such a man should seek help from a counsellor to discuss his feelings.

To create and maintain a good atmosphere in the home, your relationship has to be one of trust and mutual respect. Both partners need to try to understand the other’s point of view. It is vital at this time that the couple can still do things together without the baby being involved so that they can enjoy the feelings they had for each other before they became parents.

We do urge new parents to take advantage of any offers of babysitting that come their way from fond grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends so they can go out together - or even just retire to bed for a sleep and perhaps a spot of sex!

What happens to the female sex drive after birth?

Most women don’t feel very keen on sex for at least a few weeks after childbirth and the main reason for this is simply exhaustion. If the delivery was long or difficult, the woman may also feel anxious about getting pregnant again.

Generally, women start getting their desire back within a couple of months of having a baby. If your libido doesn’t return, then you should seek help from a doctor. Female medics at family planning clinics are particularly good at helping to deal with this problem because they see it all the time.

What do you do when you want to resume sexual intercourse after the birth of your child?

When you’re both ready to have intercourse after the birth, you should begin gently. If possible, try and find a time of the day when you are not too worn out. Also, try to find a time when the baby is not likely to wake up - so you can have some peace and quiet.

Hormone changes and worry can lead to some women experiencing vaginal dryness for the first three months after giving birth. But you don’t take hormones for this. Instead, buy lubricants over the counter from a pharmacist. Try K-Y Jelly, Liquid Silk, or Pjur. Some condoms have a built-in lubricant that may help.

For the first few sex sessions after childbirth, it’s a good idea to choose a position in which the woman can control the pace and depth of penetration. A position with her on top, or one where both partners lie side-by-side facing each other, may be more comfortable.

Don’t forget contraception. It’s very easy to become pregnant again - far sooner than you intended. Try and decide on some form of family planning by the time your baby is four weeks old. If in doubt, ask the doctor at your postnatal examination about contraception.

What do you do if the woman doesn’t regain her interest in sex?

This is quite common. Please bear in mind that it could be a symptom of postnatal depression (PND). If the woman is at all depressed, she should see her GP.

Otherwise, the best thing is for the couple to get some counselling from an expert in sexual problems, for instance at:

• Relate
• Couple Counselling Scotland
• A Family Planning Clinic.

With commonsense advice, a loving couple can usually gets things sorted out – though it may take some months.

During 2005, certain new treatments for increasing female libido are due to come onto the market. They include:

• a testosterone (male hormone) gel.
• a testosterone skin patch.
• alprostadil gel (ALISTA) – a jelly intended for application to the clitoris and surrounding area.
• Eros – a vibrating suction device which is already available, but not on the NHS.

Unfortunately, Viagra and similar drugs have not so far been convincingly shown to help new mothers who are having difficulties with sex. However, in mid-2005, doctors from St Mary’s Hospital, London, published a very small series of cases in which women with poor libido seemed to be helped by using Viagra. But as this treatment is not licensed, it is not available from your GP.

Sex after baby: Do you really have to wait?

This question is very appropriate because many women are anxious to resume an active sex life after giving birth and are afraid to ask their care providers. about this issue.

You may be surprised to learn that the restrictions regarding resumption of sexual intercourse after birth are largely a result of “folk wisdom.” There are no research-based studies that show an ideal waiting time. Women should be given the freedom to chose when they wish to resume sex after birth.

It is observed that it takes approximately six weeks for the uterus to return to “normal” size after vaginal birth. So, early “authorities” felt that the proscription against intercourse should coincide with this landmark.

What we actually see in practice, however, is that some women are emotionally and physically ready for intercourse much earlier. Williams Obstetrics, a respected text, states: “following an uncomplicated delivery, a six-week abstinence from intercourse makes little sense. It can be safely resumed in as little as three weeks or when comfort can be maintained”.

From your description, it sounds as if you may be ready for intercourse far earlier than some other women. If you have had no tearing or episiotomy, and your lochia (bleeding) has changed from red to pink and is scant in amount, it is probably fine for you to resume sexual relations as soon as two weeks postpartum. I would advise this additional week to assure the healing and closure of the cervix.

You will want to protect yourself from another pregnancy by using a contraceptive method.

You should not resume sexual relations if you have any fever, malodorous discharge or red bleeding.

For some women, it takes much longer than six weeks until they are ready to make love. Advice should be provided to women based on individual variations.

A review entitled “Sexuality during Pregnancy and the Year Postpartum” was published in The Journal of Family Practice (1998) by J. Byrd et al. 47(4), 305-8. It reported that “there is little agreement in the findings of research on the resumption of sexual activity following childbirth”. They state that “at five to seven weeks postpartum, only 50 percent of women had resumed intercourse.” Numerous reasons have been suggested for the delay in resumption of vaginal intercourse after childbirth. The principal ones are: pain related to an episiotomy; vaginal bleeding or discharge; fatigue and discomfort related to inadequate lubrication of the vagina, due to low levels of estrogen in the postpartum period.

Women who have had a lengthy labor following a high risk pregnancy or women who have had a birth assisted by a vacuum extraction, forceps or cesarean, may not wish, nor perhaps should they, resume intercourse until 8 to 12 weeks postpartum, or perhaps even longer. Women who suffer extensive perineal tearing, or those with a large episiotomy or mediolateral episiotomy, may not be “comfortable” for several months after the birth.

Resuming intimacy after giving birth

After giving birth many women go through a period of adjustment to their “new” body. You may wonder if you will lose the weight you gained during pregnancy and if you will ever get your figure back again. It can be very helpful to see that you are still desired by your partner.

The postpartum period is a good time to explore being close to your partner without sexual intercourse. You both may be eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make love again, and this is an important time to approach each other with tenderness and continued communication.

You may find that you have little or no interest in sexual intercourse immediately following childbirth. When you are ready, you can resume sexual intercourse when your perineum is comfortable, the episiotomy has healed, and the lochia has stopped.

It is common to feel very dry and lack the vaginal lubrication that had been normal for you. This is due to the reduced estrogen after the delivery of the placenta. Prolactin and oxytocin can also interfere with lubrication if you are nursing. It is normal for vaginal dryness to last up to six months. You can apply a water-based vaginal lubricant, such as astroglide or liquid silk, to help make intimacy more pleasurable. If intercourse causes you discomfort, you may want to wait a little longer or find other sexual practices that you and your partner enjoy.

Because there is decreased tone in the perineal muscles you may notice less pleasurable friction during intercourse. You may find that your orgasms are less intense for the first few months. These are normal occurrences after giving birth. To help increase muscle tone, resume your Kegel exercises (perineal tightening) that you learned in childbirth class. Practice Kegel exercises at least 50 times every day, slowly increasing to 100 repetitions.

Because you are probably fatigued after giving birth, you may want to experiment with making love in the morning or afternoon, rather than at the end of a day when you are already too tired. If you are breastfeeding, nurse your baby prior to your lovemaking to help extend the time you and your partner have together.

While conception is highly unlikely in the postpartum period, when exclusive breastfeeding, if another pregnancy is not desired at this time, it would be wise to resume the use of contraceptives. Discuss your options with your care provider.

If you want to get pregnant, you have sex. No surprises there. But what about sex while you’re pregnant? The answers aren’t always as clear. Here’s what you need to know about sex during pregnancy.
Is it OK to have sex during pregnancy?

As long as your pregnancy is proceeding normally, you can have sex as often as you like. But you may not always want to. At first, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue and nausea may sap your sexual desire. During the second trimester, increased blood flow to your sexual organs and breasts may rekindle your desire for sex. But by the third trimester, weight gain, back pain and other symptoms may once again dampen your enthusiasm for sex.

Can sex cause a miscarriage?

Many couples worry that sex during pregnancy will cause a miscarriage, especially in the first trimester. But sex isn’t a concern. Early miscarriages are usually related to chromosomal abnormalities or other problems in the developing baby — not to anything you do or don’t do.

Does sex harm the baby?

The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as the mucous plug that blocks the cervix throughout most of your pregnancy. Your partner’s penis won’t touch the baby.

Are any sexual positions off-limits during pregnancy?

As your pregnancy progresses, experiment to find the most comfortable positions. There’s just one caveat. Avoid lying flat on your back during sex. If your uterus compresses the veins in the back of your abdomen, you may feel lightheaded or nauseous.

What about oral sex?

If you have oral sex, make sure your partner does not blow air into your vagina. Rarely, a burst of air may block a blood vessel (air embolism) — which could be a life-threatening condition for you and the baby.

Can orgasms trigger premature labor?

Orgasms can cause uterine contractions. But these contractions are different from the contractions you’ll feel during labor. Research indicates that if you have a normal pregnancy, orgasms — with or without intercourse — don’t lead to premature labor or premature birth.

Are there times when sex should be avoided?

Although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes it’s best to be cautious.

• Preterm labor. Exposure to the prostaglandins in semen may cause contractions — which could be worrisome if you’re at risk of preterm labor.
• Vaginal bleeding. Sex is not recommended if you have unexplained vaginal bleeding.
• Problems with the cervix. If your cervix begins to open prematurely (cervical incompetence), sex may pose a risk of infection.
• Problems with the placenta. If your placenta partly or completely covers your cervical opening (placenta previa), sex could lead to bleeding and preterm labor.
• Multiple babies. If you’re carrying two or more babies, your doctor may advise you not to have sex late in pregnancy — although researchers have not identified any relationship between sex and preterm labor in twins.

Should my partner use a condom?

Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases during pregnancy increases the risk of infections that can affect your pregnancy and your baby’s health. If you have a new sexual partner during pregnancy, use a condom when you have sex.

What if I don’t want to have sex?

That’s OK. There’s more to a sexual relationship than intercourse. Share your needs and concerns with your partner in an open and loving way. If sex is difficult, unappealing or off-limits, try cuddling, kissing or massage.

The Joy of Sex During Pregnancy

Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby.

Many expectant parents worry that sex can be harmful during pregnancy. They fear that intercourse could hurt the baby, or even cause miscarriage. Some are afraid that the baby somehow “knows” that sex is taking place. The partner sometimes worries that intercourse might cause discomfort or pain for the pregnant woman. Worries like this are common and completely normal, but most of them are unfounded.

If your pregnancy is considered to be high risk, you may need to be more cautious than other women. Your health care provider may advise you to avoid intercourse for all or part of your pregnancy.

The Changes of Pregnancy
Many women are not very interested in sex while they are pregnant. Exhaustion, raging hormones, tender breasts and self-consciousness about her growing girth can put a pregnant women’s sex drive on hold. Take heart in the fact that most couples resume an active sex life sometime during the first year of their baby’s life.

Many women find that pregnancy makes them want sex more than they did before they became pregnant. This sex drive is caused by hormonal changes. For some women, newfound voluptuousness can play a role in making them feel sexier than ever.

Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby’s development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back after the fourth month of pregnancy, because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position, such as lying sideways or having the woman on top.

As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom’s abdomen.

Suggestions for You and Your Partner

• If you’re concerned, ask your health care provider if it’s okay to have sex.
• Talk to each other about your needs and concerns in an open and loving way. If you work together, you can probably figure out how to put a smile on each other’s face.
• Let mutual pleasure and comfort be your guide. If something doesn’t feel physically or emotionally right to one of you, change what you’re doing.
• Keep your sense of humor.
• To avoid sexually transmitted infections, have sex with only one person who doesn’t have any other sexual partners and/or use a condom when having sex. Discuss HIV testing for you and your partner with your health care provider.
• If the pregnancy is high risk or if you have any questions at all, ask for guidance from your health care provider.
• After the baby is born, wait until after your postpartum checkup before you resume intercourse.

Does sex late in pregnancy set off labor? A lot of folklore says it does and, for that reason, some obstetricians warn their patients against it. There are good scientific arguments to make us expect that the idea might be true. For instance, prostaglandin E., an ingredient of semen, stimulates uterine contraction and can start labor. So can breast stimulation, and orgasm while having sex during pregnancy increases uterine activity.

Actually, it would be very desirable if sex did play this role. For sound medical reasons—usually to protect the fetus from the negative effects of more than 42 weeks gestation or from the problems associated with maternal diabetes—doctors now use artificial means to stimulate the onset of labor. The artificial methods are amniotomy (”breaking of the waters”) and medications that stimulate contractions. But there are certain disadvantages: a higher rate of cesarean sections, forceps-assisted delivery, bleeding after delivery, and prolonged labor. In addition, by several different measures, the babies on average don’t do quite as well.

New study: If having sex late in pregnancy proved to be an effective natural method of starting off labor, it might be superior to the artificial methods (and many women might prefer it). Three obstetricians at the University of Malaysia set out to explore this question by recruiting a group of about 200 women late in pregnancy, chosen because they were all scheduled to be induced within the week if they didn’t spontaneously go into labor. Half the women were actively encouraged to have vaginal sex, and the remaining half—the control group—were neither encouraged nor discouraged.

Findings: About 60 percent of the women encouraged to have sex did so, compared with only 40 percent of the control group. So, did this increased rate of rowdiness trigger more spontaneous labor? Nope. The rate was virtually the same in both groups, as was the likelihood of complications like maternal fever, cesarean section, excess bleeding, or evidence of increased newborn stress or other problems.

Conclusion: Given these findings, then, there is no particular reason to recommend sex late in pregnancy as a way of averting artificial induction of labor. But the study suggests that there is a different benefit: pleasure. Of the women in both groups who reported having sex in the last week of pregnancy, more than 80 percent said they had an orgasm.

Earlier article:

Sex During Pregnancy

If you’re pregnant or even planning a pregnancy, you’ve probably found an abundance of information about sex before pregnancy (that is, having sex in order to conceive) and sex after childbirth (general consensus: expect a less active sex life when there’s a newborn in the house).

But there’s less talk about the topic of sex during pregnancy, perhaps because of our culture’s tendency to dissociate expectant mothers from sexuality. Like many parents-to-be, you may have questions about the safety of sex and what’s normal for most couples.

Well, what’s normal tends to vary widely, but you can count on the fact that there will be changes in your sex life. Open communication will be the key to a satisfying and safe sexual relationship during pregnancy.

Is It Safe to Have Sex During Pregnancy?

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy.

So what’s a “normal pregnancy”? It’s one that’s considered low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or pre-term labor. Talk to your doctor, nurse-midwife, or other pregnancy health care provider if you’re uncertain about whether you fall into this category. (The next section of this article may help, too.)

Of course, just because sex is safe during pregnancy doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily want to have it! Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy. Also, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable as their bodies get larger.

You and your partner need to keep the lines of communication open regarding your sexual relationship. Talk about other ways to satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each other. You also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable.

Many women find that they lose their desire and motivation for sex late in the pregnancy - not only because of their size but also because they’re preoccupied with the impending delivery and the excitement of becoming a new parent.

When It’s Not Safe

There are two types of sexual behavior that aren’t safe for any pregnant woman:

• If you engage in oral sex, your partner should not blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause an air embolism (a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble), which can be potentially fatal for mother and child.
• You should not have sex with a partner whose sexual history is unknown to you or who may have a sexually transmitted disease, such as herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, or HIV. If you become infected, the disease may be transmitted to your baby, with potentially dangerous consequences.

If your doctor, nurse-midwife, or other pregnancy health care provider anticipates or detects certain significant complications with your pregnancy, he or she is likely to advise against sexual intercourse. The most common risk factors include:

• a history or threat of miscarriage
• a history of pre-term labor (you’ve previously delivered a baby before 37 weeks) or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature uterine contractions)
• unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping
• leakage of amniotic fluid (the fluid that surrounds the baby)
• placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the blood-rich structure that nourishes the baby) is situated down so low that it covers the cervix (the opening of the uterus)
• incompetent cervix, a condition in which the cervix is weakened and dilates (opens) prematurely, raising the risk for miscarriage or premature delivery
• multiple fetuses (you’re having twins, triplets, etc.)

Common Questions and Concerns

The following are some of the most frequently asked questions about sex during pregnancy.

Can sex harm my baby?

No, not directly. Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There’s also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex.

Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or contractions?

In cases of normal, low-risk pregnancies, the answer is no. The contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions associated with labor. However, you should check with your health care provider to make sure that your pregnancy falls into the low-risk category. Some doctors recommend that all women stop having sex during the final weeks of pregnancy, just as a safety precaution, because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions. Check with your health care provider to see what he or she thinks is best.

Is it normal for my sex drive to increase or decrease during pregnancy?

Actually, both of these possibilities are normal (and so is everything in between). Many pregnant women find that symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate make sex too bothersome, especially during the first trimester. Generally, fatigue and nausea subside during the second trimester, and some women find that their desire for sex increases. Also, some women find that freedom from worries about contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with their partner, makes sex more fulfilling. Desire generally subsides again during the third trimester as the uterus grows even larger and the reality of what’s about to happen sets in.

Your partner’s desire for sex is likely to increase or decrease as well. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Others may experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or because of concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child.

Your partner may have trouble reconciling your identity as a sexual partner with your new (and increasingly visible) identity as an expectant mother. Again, remember that communication with your partner can be a great help in dealing with these issues.

When to Call Your Doctor

Call your health care provider if you’re unsure whether sex is safe for you. Also, call if you notice any unusual symptoms after intercourse, such as pain, bleeding, or discharge, or if you experience contractions that seem to continue after sex.

Remember, “normal” is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you.