Ring my bell.
Dial me, baby.
Even when you’re close to home, phone sex can fire things up.
Phone sex has gotten a bad rap. It has sadly been relegated to 900 numbers and the desperately lonely and separated. But it’s time that phone sex was brought back to its rightful glory. It’s a great way to connect with a partner even if you both are in town and live in the very same home.
It might sound crazy, but it makes sense if you think about it. Most of us spend the majority of our days away from our partners. And then when we are back together, it’s after a long, stressful day at work with dinner waiting to be cooked, kids waiting to be bathed and dogs waiting to be walked.
It’s hard to bring the sexy back when that’s what you come back home to every day. That’s where phone sex comes in.
You see, part of the problem with not being able to connect with your partner after a long day is that you have not only been physically separated, but also mentally separated. If you do talk on the phone, it’s likely about who’s going to pick up the dry cleaning or where you should make dinner reservations for the weekend.
But when you’re apart, it’s actually the ideal time to connect. Stay with me now. It can be hard to jump right into “Come on, baby, light my fire” the minute you walk in the door. Even with a partner you adore, it can feel a little scary or silly. But on the phone, freedom reigns. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be talking on the phone; it could be texting, IMing or e-mailing.
But, be aware, e-mail never dies and texts and voice messages have a way of popping back into your life at the least opportune times – ask Tiger Woods or Jesse James. Even if it’s your partner you’re whispering not-so-sweet nothings to, you still don’t want them broadcast to the whole universe – or even just your own family and friends, for that matter.
So … my weapon of choice is the telephone, talking directly to my partner, where the only risk is someone overhearing and there is usually somewhere to be found that’s out of earshot of any nosy neighbors. Now here’s where the fun starts. Phone sex can be anything from, “I can’t wait to get my hands on you tonight” to “Right now, I’m using my tongue to find my way from your knees to your nose.”
You can play out entire scenarios or you can just tease your partner about what’s awaiting him or her at home that night. Entire scenarios can be especially fun when you’re home with total freedom to do and say as you please and your partner is squirming in his or her seat at work just hoping no one can hear the naughty nurse on the line.
“I’ve been a very bad nurse today, baby.”
“Oh really?”
“Uh, huh. I haven’t been paying any attention to my patients today.”
“You haven’t?”
“Nope. I’ve only been paying attention to myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, right now I’m naked in front of the mirror examining my…”
You get the idea. So, while you talk away and maybe even get down to a little “self-service” while you’re at it, all your partner can do is listen and long for you.
If that’s a little much for you, you can simply say, “I miss your mouth” or “Where do you want me to touch you first?” — just to get your partner in the mindset you want him or her in when you’re both together again.
Why bother? Well, that’s easy.
1. Phone sex relieves stress. It can take your mind off things that are doing nothing but driving you crazy and instead put you in a happier – and naughtier – state of mind.
2. Phone sex takes care of the heavy lifting. Sometimes the hardest part about getting down to it is getting started. Dirty little chats throughout the day can give you a great head start.
3. Phone sex brings you closer. Secrets can be bad. But in this case, they are good. Very good. Having a little something that’s just between you and your partner can make you feel like it’s the two of you against the world. Very sexy.
So, whether you opt for the long version…
A flight attendant and a First Class passenger: “Would you like to watch tonight’s film…or me getting out of this silly uniform?”
A waiter and a diner: “Shall I tell you the specials on the menu…or my specialties in the bedroom?”
A lost hiker and a park ranger: “Would you like me to guide you out of the forest…or back to my cabin?”
Or the short version…
“I’m ready.”
. . . It doesn’t matter how cheesy it might sound in your head or out of context, in the moment, phone-based foreplay can start your engines and keep you revving until the race begins.
All you have to do is pick up the phone.
What to Say During Phone Sex
I want to have phone sex with my boyfriend, but I don’t know what to say. All I can think of is “What are you wearing?” and, well, it seems a little trite. Where do I go from there? What should I say during phone sex?
There’s a reason the phrase “what are you wearing?” has become almost a phone sex cliché: It works! It’s sexy for your partner to hear you talk about what you’re doing to yourself, especially if he thinks he inspired it. So tell him exactly what you’re wearing, precisely how it feels to slip off each piece of clothing and every little detail about what else your fingers are doing. Now, it’s not necessary to be one hundred percent accurate about your clothing. Even if you’re wearing sweats, feel free to tell your sweetie that it’s his favorite red lace thong and matching bra. You also don’t have to actually do everything you say you’re doing, but it’s a lot more fun that way.
If you’re not ready to be graphic yet, relax. Detail trumps explicit language every time. After all, sex isn’t just about the parts down there. The key is to be as descriptive as you can. “I’m brushing my lips across the back of your neck…you can feel my warm breath right between your shoulder blades, as I start lightly kissing down your spine…” Think specifics. You know your lover’s body, so use that knowledge to make him feel like you’re there with him. No generic dirty phrase will ever compare with, “Imagine that I’m tracing that sexy little mole on your left hip with my fingernail.”
Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to refer to body parts. Everyone has particular words or phrases that turn them on and others that make their skin crawl. The easiest way to find out what your partner likes is to listen to him. Does he call it his cock, his shaft, his weenie, his dick? It’s a good bet that whatever he calls it is what he wants to hear. Give him the same cues about your body parts. If he refers to your “boobies” and it jolts you out of the mood, counter with, “Oh, yes, I love it when you stroke my breasts /squeeze my nipples/ rub my tits like that.” He’ll eventually get the hint. (If he doesn’t, you may have to tell him directly, “Honey, I love you, but calling them ‘hooters’ just doesn’t get me hot.”) Before you start, think of a few fallback phrases to use in case you simply can’t think of anything to say. “Oh, that feels so good” is almost always appropriate, and so is, “Oh yes, tell me more!” And don’t forget, often you don’t have to say anything at all. Heavy breathing, soft moans and sighs of pleasure go a long way all on their own.
Still feeling shy? Well, it can take practice to be comfortable saying those oh-so-naughty things. But the only way to learn is just to do it. You might not get above a whisper the first time, but trust me, even if you stammer and blush your way through the conversation, your guy will love it.
Sources:
http://www.foxnews.com
http://www.savvymiss.com
