Web Sex Log

It’s because some fear, anxiety or inhibition has worked its way into her brain, halting all action. If her comfort zone is threatened, she’ll no longer be in the mood.

Here are some of the major issues haunting her during sex play, plus ways to remedy the situation.

1. He’s expecting her to perform like a porn star.

She may be worried about having to perform a sexual act she’s not comfortable with, or maybe she fears he’d rather be watching a porn star than having sex with her.

The fix: Avoid putting pressure on your partner to act out what you’ve seen in porn flicks. By suggesting a sex act, don’t let her know that you saw it in an X-rated movie — frame it as your idea and something with the potential to turn both of you on. Also, use this as an opportunity to explore what she might want to do. She may surprise you.

2. Somebody’s response time is going to be “off.”

When it comes to sexual response, she could be worried that things are going to go one of two ways: (1) her partner is off to the races as soon as they hit the sheets; or (2) her arousal and orgasmic abilities will feel delayed. She starts to fret over her lover not lasting long enough for her excitement to match his. Or she’s worried that she’s going to take forever to climax, if she does at all.

The fix: If you tend to be a rabbit, don’t turn your sex session into a race, rushing through the entire experience.

Ask her to guide you in matching her pace, having her control the rhythm and speed. To amp up her arousal level, pay special attention to her clitoris, maintaining such stimulation throughout foreplay and intercourse.

Above all, make sure you’re communicating. Don’t get caught up in your experience, make it a shared one. Ask about her needs, as this will also give her a sense of control over the situation and give her emotional reassurances about her partnership.

3. He’ll notice her cellulite or stretch marks.

Puckered, dimpled skin or scar tissue can make anybody feel conscious. But as a lover is kissing, massaging, or orally pleasuring your nether regions, thus coming face to face with these natural “imperfections,” they can feel magnified. Those unable to get past their negative body image shut down sexually.

The fix: Let her know that you adore her for more than her physical appearance. Give her compliments regularly both in and out of the boudoir, highlighting what makes her sexy. Encourage physical activities the two of you can pursue together, the payoff being that she’ll slowly feel better about her form and more confident in her own, cellulite-splattered skin.

4. She’ll look “fat” in her lingerie.

While barely-there styles can tap our inner vixen, they typically require a body in peak condition. Lingerie highlights every roll, lump, and flabby area, which reminds her that she’s no Heidi Klum. This can kill her sexy siren nature.

The fix: She needs to explore undergarments that flatter her form. Spanx lingerie and hosiery, for example, appeal to women looking to slim their midsection or firmly support their hips and thighs while donning panties, camisoles or full-body slips.

Until such a purchase is made, turn off the lights or adjust them for mood lighting to invite lingerie loving. Yes, this kind of defeats the purpose of intimate apparel, but she won’t feel nearly as self-conscious. She can still feel sexy in sporting lingerie, with both of you relishing the feel of the fabrics gracing her body.

5. She’ll get pregnant.

Research conducted by the Guttmacher Institute this past summer found that, given the current economic situation, nearly half of women surveyed wanted to delay pregnancy or limit the number of children they have. Concerns over the economy also had approximately half of these women, ages 18-39, focusing more on effective contraceptive use.

Unfortunately, for one-quarter of these women, tough times have meant a harder time paying for their contraceptive methods. Almost one in four women has postponed a gynecologic or birth control visit in the last year to save money.

The fix: Make sure you’ve got an ample condom supply. Offer to help pay for her gynecological care and contraceptives. Pregnancy prevention should always be a team effort.

6. She’ll get an STD.

Women are more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) than men. For example, with HIV, a female is twice as likely to be infected by a male as vice versa. This is in large part because our reproductive organs leave us more exposed to an STD than do men’s. Complicating matters is the fact that it’s also harder for women to notice symptoms, since infections are often asymptomatic.

The fix: If lovers aren’t abstaining from sex involving the transmission of fluids or skin-on-skin contact, they should use protection to minimize the risk of infection. Women, especially, need to be proactive in protecting themselves, since a recent World Health Organization report found that young women make up more than 60 percent of 15 to 24-year-olds who have HIV/AIDS.

What Causes Fear Of Sex?

Sex is everywhere. Sex sells, right? You see sex on television, in movies and you hear it in music. It’s on billboards, in newspaper ads and all over the Internet. So logically, as a society, we don’t seem very afraid of sex, do we? Surprisingly enough, many people still have a deep seated, irrational fear of sex, masturbation and other sex related things. Why is this fear irrational, and what causes it? What can you do about it?

Sex And Psychology

The most complicated part of human psychology is sex. Sex involves so many things, including the body, the mind and even your emotions. What feels good physically doesn’t always feel good emotionally, and what feels good emotionally doesn’t always please you physically. It can be difficult to understand why someone may have a fear about sex or have a sex related phobia, because there are so many contributing factors to sex. In persons who haven’t been sexually abused, a fear of sex or a sex phobia can seem irrational. The human body and mind was created to enjoy and take pleasure from sex, and it’s one of the most natural things for two human beings to do together. What are some things that can cause an irrational fear of sex?

Painful Sex

Many people can experience pain during sex or masturbation. In women, small vaginas or lack of natural lubrication can make penetration extremely uncomfortable or painful. In some women, the clitoral hood doesn’t cover the clitoris completely, making most types of sexual contact painful instead of pleasurable. In men, a poorly done circumcision can leave too little skin on the penis, making an erection uncomfortable or painful when the skin stretches too taut. Penises also have stiff, fibrous muscles that when erect, can “break.” It’s rare, but rough masturbation or sex can “break” a penis, making sex or even erections painful if it’s not corrected immediately. Anyone that experiences pain during sex or masturbation can develop a fear of sex or sex related activities, depending on what causes them pain or discomfort.

Psychological Issues

Many people have an irrational fear of sex due to psychological factors. Some people have phobias of sex or masturbation because their parents brought them up in an overly religious environment, or they were taught to think sex is dirty. Believe it or not, many women are taught that enjoying sex is “wrong” and that sex is only something they must do as a wife when they get married. Many of these women don’t have orgasms and have very poor and unsatisfying sex lives, therefore, may avoid sex as much as they can in fear of it. Many men and women are brought up thinking that masturbation is wrong as well, even that it will give you hairy palms or cause blindness. Any type of skewed thinking about sexual pleasure that was ingrained on a person as a child can contribute to sexual fears and phobias in adulthood.

STD’s And Pregnancy

Some people avoid sex all together because they have deeply rooted fears of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Perhaps someone in the family contracted AIDS or got pregnant, and the family criticized them or looked down upon them. Perhaps someone contracted a sexually transmitted disease or got pregnant and is terrified of it happening again. Fears of pregnancy and STD’s can play a large part in someone’s irrational phobias of sex.

What To Do

If you have a fear of sex or sex related activities, it’s important to see a doctor. What you’re experiencing, however, can determine which type of doctor you go see. If you’re having physical pain during sex, you should make an appointment with your general practitioner or family doctor. They can do a physical examination as well as take a detailed medical history to determine what exactly is causing the pain or contributing to it. If you’re having psychological issues with sex, consider seeing a therapist or a specialized sex therapist to help talk to you about your phobias, why you have them and how you can work your way through them.

Many people are afraid of seeing the doctor – regardless of which type – because having a sexual fear for whatever reason can seem embarrassing. Lots of things are embarrassing though, and you deserve to have a happy, healthy sex life. Find a doctor or therapist that you’re comfortable with, and take control of your sex life.

Sources:
http://www.foxnews.com
http://www.askdanandjennifer.com