There is popular concern about virginity definition and the meaning others put in it. Most people consider a person virgin if he never had sexual intercourse, i.e. penis- vagina penetration. You may say that “technically” a woman having hymen or a man who never penetrated a woman is considered to be a virgin. But a lot of questions appear, like ”What if I am gay and have sex with the same sex?” or “Do I have to consider myself a virgin if I had oral, anal, solo sex with sex toys?”. The answer will be as follows:” You are the one to decide whether to consider yourself a virgin or not. But every sexual act holds a lot of responsibility, where all the risks, hopes and emotions are involved. That’s why a primary question you should decide on is to weigh all pros and contras before you make this major step.

Are you ready?
You are young and hot. Everybody seems to have sex. Of course, no one doubts that you are no longer child and sex is a great pleasure. Still wait for a while and think over one important thing: Are you ready for your first time?

That is not an idle question for every person if he or she made up his mind to lose virginity. Even if you feel a wild urge to have first intercourse, the best thing to do in this situation is to answer to yourself whether you are ready to take a responsibility for your and your partner’s health, know all about the consequences of sexual interaction, like STD’s and pregnancy. Surely, safe sex should be of primary importance to you, as well as things like your psychological readiness for intimate relationships. Loosing virginity should be a free choice for you. You shouldn’t fall under pressure or do it with a person you know nothing about. Of course, you may not fill your head with all this “stuff”, but many people do actually. If you respect yourself and are going to be sexually active, you are going to know that no matter what your further intimate relationships will be, you won’t forget your first man or a woman even if you try to. That’s why you’d better take it seriously, so that further memories won’t disappoint you.

Losing your virginity is a big decision. Not only must you be certain that you are emotionally ready to be with someone in this way but you must also be certain that you understand the risks associated with having sex such as contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) and/or getting pregnant. You should also take your partner into account when you are considering losing your virginity, and be sure that you are both absolutely certain that you are ready to have sex. Unfortunately there are no easy checklists for working out if you are ready to lose your virginity, but if you find it hard to talk about sex with your partner, you find yourself blushing or giggling during discussions of sexuality, and/or you are unwilling to admit that you will need to protect yourself during sex then you are likely not ready to lose your virginity. If, however, you and your partner have discussed sex, you are both ready to explore safer sex options, and you fully understand possible consequences of your options then you may decide that you are ready to lose your virginity.

Should You Lose It?

Clearly, the definition of virginity leaves lots of room for interpretation! But the real question is: should you lose it? Deciding whether or not to remain a virgin is a highly personal decision that can be influenced by a variety of factors, such as religion, family and personal values, peer influence, and the status of your relationship. It’s important to think about where you stand on the issue. Here are a few questions to ask yourself before you decide:

• Do I believe that sex should only be shared in a marriage or other committed relationship?
• Do I think that two people should be in love before having sex?
• Do I believe that a person should be a certain age before having sex?

What will help me decide when I’m ready to have sex?
There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. Sexual decisions are a matter of personal beliefs and values, but it’s important to think them through before you take the plunge. Talking about your views on virginity with your partner is also a good idea. And remember, sex doesn’t have to be a part of every relationship … even if you aren’t a virgin. You have the right to decide when to have sex — the first time, and always!

Safer Sex Considerations
If you do believe that you are ready to lose your virginity then remember that the only completely safe sex – 100% guaranteed not to lead to pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection (STI) such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea or HIV – is abstaining from sex completely. If you understand this and are willing to accept that there are risks associated with having sex, then make sure that you understand that there are ways to make sex safer, particularly by using a condom. A condom creates a physical barrier between people during oral, anal and vaginal sex so it can help keep infections from being spread. Unfortunately, condoms can be put on incorrectly, slip off during sex, and break. Condoms are also often used with lubricants, but lubricants with spermicide can have an adverse effect on condoms and should be avoided. STIs can also be transmitted during foreplay, so any areas of the body that have open wounds, sores or warts (such as fingers) should not come in contact with the genitals without at least a plaster covering the risky area.

Pregnancy is also a worry for anyone having sex, and again the only way to absolutely avoid getting pregnant is to abstain from sex. A variety of birth control methods exist which can minimise the risk of pregnancy, but not one of them is 100% effective 100% of the time. The contraceptive pill, contraceptive injections, contraceptives implants, intrauterine devices such as the coil, and diaphragms/caps are all common types of contraception that can be accessed from a GP or family planning clinic. Condoms can be bought at most chemists and used alone in or conjunction with another method of contraception. If you do have unprotected sex, or if an error occurs with your preferred method of contraception, then some types of emergency contraception are also available. An emergency contraceptive pill can be taken up to three days after unprotected sex, while an intrauterine device such as the coil can be fitted up to five days after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy from occurring. Emergency contraception pills can be prescribed by doctors or bought without a prescription at pharmacies. Any type of IUD will need to be fitted by a doctor or nurse.

Saying No
There’s no shame in waiting until you are ready to lose your virginity, but it can be hard to say no to sex if your partner seems more than willing to take this big step. First and foremost, remember that if someone loves you enough to want to make love with you, he or she should also respect you enough to wait until you are ready. Many teens feel pressured to have sex before they are ready, and though you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decisions you may feel that you want to discuss your feelings on the subject. More than anything, remember to be calm and direct if you choose to have this discussion. Very clearly state that you are not ready to have sex. Be prepared for questions such as when will you be ready, if you’re planning to remain a virgin until you are married, what you are willing to do with your romantic partner and/or do you truly care about your partner. If you have no answers for these questions, say so honestly. Ask your partner to give you the time and space you need to think about these things. It may not seem like it at the time, but if he or she is not willing to let you decide what is best for yourself then he or she is not worth worrying about anyway.

First intercourse: TIPS FOR BOYS

1. Never consider sex with a woman you don’t appreciate or think of as unattractive.
2. A rule for anytime: be always clean (i.e. always wash your genitals before an intercourse). Take a number of condoms along and try to avoid various enhancers.
3. Get everything ready in advance. Comfortable intimate atmosphere is more likely to give you the image of a good sexual experience than a fuss at the back seat of your car.
4. Don’t be quick, the more so if your partner is inexperienced too. Make sure she is aroused enough giving time to the foreplay. When she gets aroused her genitals will produce necessary lubrication to make penetration easier. There can be a problem with lubrication if she is feels uneasy herself. In this case you may use special water-based lube on her genitals that is usually sold in sex toys shop. And don’t forget about condom!
5. Sex experiments are not what you should put in practice during your first intercourse. Choose a missionary position (man on the top) and put a pillow under her buttocks. Gently open her labia and direct your penis towards vagina. Take things slowly. If she is a virgin herself, you should take a bit more efforts. Although a hymen is not a serious obstacle, this will lead to bleeding and can cause pain for your girlfriend. Start penetrating into vagina, but don’t do it deeply for the first time.
6. Neither of you should blame yourself even if you didn’t achieve orgasm. Most woman need to learn how to reach orgasm during and this doesn’t happen automatically from your first intercourse.
7. Even if you have had sex before, you can experience certain troubles during your first intercourse. If you are obsessed with the idea to get under skin, this may result in such unwanted effects as lack of erection. If you get over excited you may come too early. No matter what problems will arise think about this experience as though things were not the way you expected them to be and don’t take it too seriously. The surer you will feel the more confidence you will obtain next time.

First intercourse: TIPS FOR GIRLS

1. No matter what the reason is for your decision to loose virginity, girls always worry about their first time.
2. Use safe contraceptive and ask your partner to use condom (even if you take birth control pills).
3. Choose a comfortable place. It is necessary for you to make sure nobody will disturb your privacy and you have enough time without haste on minor things. It is also very important as you may feel quite nervous during first intercourse and it can take you more time to get relaxed and aroused.
4. Tell your partner you are a virgin and ask him to take things slowly. If you never used tampons, your vagina may be a bit tight. Your partner can help you loose vaginal muscles by introducing his finger during an intercourse.
5. It would be easier for your partner to penetrate when your legs are wide apart. You can put a pillow under your buttocks to make penetration easier. Keep water-based lubricant handy if you need more lubrication. Help your partner during penetration directing him to your vagina.
6. Never say die if your first time didn’t bring you pleasant sensations and you didn’t experience orgasm. With the time you will learn your body better and sexual relationships will improve.
7. Unlike most men, women obtain more sexual satisfaction with the partner they appreciate, know well and feel the same attitude from him. Having your first time until you get to know each other well may lead to disappointment, when a person lying next to you seems to be a stranger.

So follow one general rule: try to get over anxiety and be careful with your feelings.