Web Sex Log

Even the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.

Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.

“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.

Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.

Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.

“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.

Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.

Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.

“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.

Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.

“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.

“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.

Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.

To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.

She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’

Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.

The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.

While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.

“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.

Is There Sex After Menopause?

Symptoms of Menopause

• absence of menstruation for one year
• hot flashes
• night sweats
• mood swings
• anxiety
• palpitations
• depression
• insomnia
• vaginal dryness
• urinary changes

Sexual Desire and Menopause
Does menopause mean that sex is no longer an important or desired part of life? No! Countless numbers of both genders believe that menopause means less sexual desire; however, that is not neccessarily true. In fact, sex after menopause is often as enjoyable, sometimes even more enjoyable than before menopause. Since you no longer face any threat of pregnancy and your children have grown up, or at least are almost grown, you and your spouse are finally alone for what is, many times, the first time since you married. So, go ahead and enjoy your opportunity to have the best sex of your life!

Yes, it’s true that getting older, often means it takes a little longer to feel sexually aroused, and it’s quite normal to experience a small decrease in sexual desire as part of the aging process. But growing older doesn’t mean that your sex life is over.

If you have experienced a loss of sexual desire since menopause, before you decide that menopause or just getting older is responsible for your lowered libido, consider a few other possible causes.

Many medications such as anti-hypertensive medications, tranquilizers, and antidepressants can change how you feel about sex. Other issues that affect sexual response include diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis, as well as your self-image and the amount of stress you must deal with on a daily basis.

Is Reduced Estrogen After Menopause the Culprit Behind Lowered Sexual Desire?

Researchers at the New England Research Institute and the University of Massachusetts Medical School have discovered an amazing fact. While many of us naturally assume that the drop in estrogen production experienced during menopause is responsible for the postmenopausal decrease in sexual desire often experienced by postmenopausal women, the fact is that key factors influencing who has sexual issues include individual attitudes towards sexuality, overall health and marital status play a significant role in determining who experiences sexual issues during menopause and that estrogen is not related to changes in sexual response in postmenopausal women. Researchers found only one issue related to decreased estrogen production during menopause – painful sexual intercourse.

What You Believe About Sex and Menopause is What You Get?
A key finding, by the researchers, is that the only women to experience loss of sexual desire during the postmenopausal period, were only those women who believed that loss of interest in sex is a normal part of the aging process.

Does Postmenopausal Testosterone Supplementation Increase Sexual Desire?
Many women are able to increase lost sexual desire using prescribed testosterone during menopause. The benefits of testosterone include increased relief of the vasomotor symptoms of menopause, i.e. hot flashes and night sweats; increased energy; a general feeling of well-being; and increased sexual desire.

While some evidence exists that supplementing with testosterone during menopause may increase sexual response in postmenopausal women, there are certain health risks and potential side effects associated with testosterone supplements in women (the female reproductive system naturally produces small amounts of testosterone.) One study presented in the Archives of Internal Medicine and based on more results from the Women’s Health Initiative shows that women, in the study, who used both estrogen and testosterone during menopause experience a 17.2 percent increase in breast cancer risk for each year of use. Women who used either estrogen alone or estrogen with progestins did not observe this increase.

Each women should weigh the potential risks against the benefits of hormone replacement therapy including the use of testosterone supplementation with her health care provider so that, together, you can reach an informed decision about what is right for you.

Two Points to Remember about Sexual Response and Menopause

• Loss of sexual response or desire is not experienced by the majority of menopausal women.
• Loss of sexual desire is not associated with decreased levels of estrogen.

Men Have Viagra… What About Us?
Will there ever be a Viagra for women? According to a New York Times report, a Viagra for women is already under development. However, this drug may take several years before it becomes available for women who suffer from menopausal decreased sexual desire.

If you experience decreased sexual desire after menopause, see your health care provider for information about your treatment options. Also, make sure to talk to your partner so he’s aware of your feelings and sexual needs.

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