A new online survey has revealed that almost one in five British men pay for sex.

More than 6,000 Radio 5 live listeners responded to the ‘Confessions’ survey for the channel’s breakfast show, reports the Sun.

In the survey, 40 per cent of adults in relationships reported that they cheat on their partners - with women more likely to have an affair and men more tempted by a one-night stand.

It was also found that a third of suspicious partners secretly go through their other half’s emails or text messages.

The survey also showed that despite 90 per cent of listeners thinking they are honest people, more than 50 per cent confess to stealing and taking sickies when they are not really ill.

In another survey carried in the report, driving misdemeanours turned out to be a common offence.

According to the paper, more than 50 per cent of those questioned said they regularly drive over the speed limit and four out of ten said they have driven over the legal alcohol limit.

A third of men admitted that they have damaged someone’s car but not owned up to it.

However, white lies was the top confession - two thirds of people reported lying about liking a Christmas present that they actually hated.

The findings from the survey will be debated this week on the programme.

A fifth of men admit paying for sex

ALMOST one in five men admit paying for sex, an online survey has revealed.

The questionnaire also found that 40% of adults in relationships confess to cheating on their partners – with women more likely to have an affair and men more tempted by a one night stand.

A third of distrustful partners admit to secretly reading their other half’s emails or text messages.

More than 6,000 Radio 5 Live listeners responded to the ‘Confessions’ survey for the channel’s breakfast show.

Results from the survey will be debated this week on the programme.

It reveals that despite 90% of listeners thinking they are honest people, more than half also confess to stealing and taking sickies when they are not really ill.

Driving misdemeanours are other common offences. More than half of those questioned said they regularly drive over the speed limit and four out of 10 said they have driven over the legal alcohol limit.

And nearly a third of men admitted that they have damaged someone’s car but not owned up to it.

But white lies ranked the highest among the confessions – two thirds of people said they have lied about liking a Christmas present that they actually hated.

UK ’should outlaw paying for sex’

Commons Leader Harriet Harman has told the BBC she wants the law to be changed to make it illegal to pay for sex.

She said ministers were to look at how Sweden brought in such a law, and said a “big debate” was needed in the UK.

It would counter international human trafficking which sees girls bought and sold by criminals in the UK, she added.

Buying or selling sex is legal, but many activities related to prostitution such as kerb crawling, brothel keeping, pimping and soliciting are not.

The government has toughened its stance on prostitution in recent years, after initially considering “tolerance zones”.

Plans to permit small brothels, with two prostitutes and a maid, to operate legally also appear to have been shelved.

A Home Office spokesman said the idea was being put out to “further consultation” after concerns were raised about its impact on local neighbourhoods.

‘Sexual exploitation’

The government is carrying out a wholesale review of the laws around prostitution, with the aim of reducing demand and increasing the safety of sex workers.

But Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said there would be a “mini review” looking at lessons from Sweden, after home office minister Vernon Coaker’s fact finding trip there in the new year.

She said: “We recognise that there is considerable support for us to do more to tackle the demand for prostitution and to prevent the trafficking of people for sexual exploitation.”

A Home Office spokesman said it was “too early to say” whether any changes to the law would apply across the UK or just in England and Wales.

Brothel keeping

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 made it illegal to buy sex from anyone aged under 18 and introduced tough penalties for trafficking adults and children for the purposes of sexual exploitation.

It is not illegal for an individual aged over 18 to work as a prostitute in off-street premises but where there is more than one prostitute, the owner of the premises can be prosecuted for keeping a brothel.

Many of the activities associated with street prostitution, such as soliciting and kerb-crawling, are also illegal and it is against the law to advertise sexual services on cards in telephone boxes.

The current laws are largely aimed at reducing nuisance for local neighbourhoods, a Home Office spokesman said.

But Harriet Harman says more needs to be done to tackle demand and protect women.

‘Very big debate’

She told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme: “Just because something has always gone on, doesn’t mean you just wring your hands and say, ‘Oh well there’s nothing we can do about it’.

“We do need to have a debate and unless you tackle the demand side of human trafficking which is fuelling this trade, we will not be able to protect women from it.

“That is what they’ve done in Sweden. My own personal view is that’s what we need to do as a next step.”

Ms Harman, who is also deputy Labour leader and equality secretary, said she wanted a “very big debate” on the issue involving groups such as the Women’s Institute, community organisations, Church and other faith groups.

This should look at whether “we think it’s right in the 21st Century that women should be in a sex trade or do we think it’s exploitation and should be banned”.

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Ms Harman said action needed to be taken to tackle the demand side of international human trafficking, which had led to “teenage girls being bought and sold by criminal gangs in car parks in this country”.

She was speaking after talks with newspapers over small advertisements offering services at brothels believed to be linked to human trafficking.

Ms Harman said there was to be new guidance from the Newspaper Society next month that would address the issue.

“The new guidance will stop those ads. But the next question is - can we really stop this trade when we’ve still got a lawful sex trade going on?”

The English Collective of Prostitutes attacked Ms Harman’s support for the Swedish system and urged her to look at New Zealand’s system of legalising brothels instead.

State-run facilities

Spokeswoman Cari Mitchell said the Swedish system of criminalising men who buy sex had forced prostitution further underground and “made women more vulnerable to violence”.

Alan Gordon, vice chairman of the Police Federation, also spoke out against further criminalisation, adding: “A move towards legalising state-run facilities would certainly be something which could be examined, as they could possibly eradicate underground prostitution and therefore have a knock-on effect on human trafficking.”

Ms Harman’s words were welcomed by Tory MP Philip Hollobone who is campaigning for a ban on selling sex but Lib Dem spokesman David Howarth said a ban could put women in more danger.

UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom said “consensual prostitution” should remain legal adding: “Ms Harman said that she wants to look at ways of ending the ‘exploitation’ of women but outside of sex trafficking, it seems to me that it’s the women exploiting the men.”

They are defined as generation X but today’s 20- to 40-year-olds could soon be equally known as “generation with no sex”.

New research shows adultery is less common among people born between 1965 and 1985. They are also likely to have fewer sexual partners than the generation either directly before or after them.

Scientists believe the emergence of AIDS and a boom in divorces among their parents mean they are less inclined to believe in “free love” and place more emphasis on commitment.

For those born before the 1960s, the invention of the pill awakened their sense of sexual adventure. But the resultant high level of relationship break-ups convinced generation X to steer clear of adultery. Those lessons have been lost by teenagers and those in their early 20s, who are increasingly using sex as entertainment thanks to the internet, according to Edward Laumann, the professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, who conducted the research.

“It’s clear that, while generation X has sex, obviously, it’s probably not as much or as varied in styles as that of their parents or today’s teenagers and students,” he said.

While it was first used in the 1960s, the term generation X has since become associated with those approaching adulthood in the early 1990s.

Generation X goes slack on sex

They gained a reputation as slackers, and now Generation X have also been identified as the least industrious lovers of modern times.

According to academic research on sexual habits, people born between 1965 and 1985 have significantly fewer sexual partners and are less likely to be unfaithful than those who came before and after them.

For the baby-boomer generation, sexual opportunity was opened up by the pill. Those born after 1985 are rediscovering sex as sport largely because of the internet.

But, according to Edward Laumann, professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, the emergence of Aids and the divorce boom gave Generation X insecure emotions and more restricted sex lives.

“There was a backlash against their parents’ attitudes, a crisis of confidence,” said Laumann, author of The Social Organisation of Sexuality, a college text-book in America.

His study, based on thousands of interviews, is expected to be released next year. “It’s clear that, while Generation X has sex, obviously, it’s probably not as much or as varied in styles as their parents or today’s teenagers and students,” he said.

According to Laumann’s preliminary findings, about 30% of Generation X-ers have distinctly different sexual habits from their parents or today’s Generation Y; they have “substantially” fewer partners and reject adultery.

Laumann’s findings were backed by Frank Furedi, 60, a sociology professor at the University of Kent. “Those raised in the 1980s are fundamentally influenced by Aids, Margaret Thatcher’s family values and the left’s reborn puritanism,” said Furedi. “I remember, at a dinner party, using the term ‘recreational sex’, which my generation said all the time, and everyone reacted like it was a perversion.”

The term Generation X was first used in the 1960s, but later came to be associated with those entering adulthood in the economic downturn of the early 1990s. In comparison with the liberated 1960s generation, they were sexually restrained.

Jamie Oliver, the gastronomic campaigner who married Juliette Norton, a former model, in 2000, said: “I’ve never been unfaithful, although there were opportunities in the early days when I had loads of birds throwing themselves at me.”

Many men in their thirties say the pursuit is too stressful. “Sex? It’s overrated,” said Justin Lee Collins, 34, presenter of the Channel 4 series The Friday Night Project, who married his second serious girlfriend. “When I was younger I wasn’t good around girls; I used to get physically sick with nerves. Now I’d rather have a beer with my mates than swing in the rafters.” The trait has also been highlighted by David Kamp, a blogger, in the current American issue of Marie Claire, in which he calls his generation “quite possibly the least titillating, least Caligulan people”.

He writes: “Somewhere between the free-love 1970s and today, a curiously chaste breed emerged and a lot of guys my age feel we missed out.”

According to Laumann, this generation built surrogate families among closed circles of friends in their twenties: the benefit was comfort; the cost, sexual opportunity. He said closed social circles ? as depicted in dramas such as This Life on the BBC and Friends, the hit American series ? curbed sexual adventures because of the problems of introducing a lover into the circle. “There is a lot of frank talk about sex but surprisingly little action,” he commented.

With the perceived decline in the threat of Aids in the West and the rise of the internet, members of Generation Y have rediscovered sexual adventure. Their habits are being studied by Paula England, sociology professor at Stanford University in California, who is tracking the sex lives of 4,000 young people through an internet survey.

“They are distinct from Generation X, more willing to engage in casual sexual behaviour with strangers in semi-public places like parties,” she said.

“More old-fashioned dating may follow after a few hookups, but not necessarily. It is recreational sex again.”

What is Generation X?

Generation X is a term used to describe generations in many countries around the world born between 1965 and 1980. The term is used in demography, the social sciences, and marketing, though it is most often used in popular culture. The generation’s influence over pop culture began in the 1980s and may have peaked in the 1990s. The exact demographic boundaries of Generation X are not well defined, depending on who is using the term, where and when.

Some of the defining factors used in descriptions of Generation X stem from social transitions resulting from the decline of colonial imperialism to the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War. Another more prevalent factor is a bell curve bottoming out in American births from 1960 through 1980, after the American baby boom from 1946 to 1964. A small, often “invisible generation” in the wake of the socially-reconstructing baby boomers, those born in the U.S. between 1964 (often cited as 1961: see Coupland and Strauss and Howe, below) and 1980 received the “X” tag for lack of a defining social identity.

As young adults, Generation X drew media attention in the late 1980s and early 1990s, gaining a stereotypical reputation as apathetic, cynical, disaffected, streetwise loners and slackers. As Generation Xers have now become parents, however, their media persona is gradually becoming more that of protective security moms and dads in a post 9/11 world.

In addition, Generation X is noted as one of the most entrepreneurial and tech-friendly generations in American history, as they’ve driven a majority of the Internet’s growth and ingenuity from day one. Google, Yahoo, MySpace, Dell, Youtube, and other billion-dollar tech companies were founded by people in the Generation X demographic.

Erectile dysfunction may boost Parkinson’s risk

Results of a study suggest an association between erectile dysfunction and an increased risk of developing Parkinson’s disease.

The autonomic nervous system, which regulates involuntary bodily functions like heart rate and digestion, is often affected in Parkinson’s disease, and erectile function, which is controlled by the autonomic system, is commonly compromised, the study team notes in a report.

“An important question,” according to Dr. Xiang Gao, of Harvard School of Public Health, Boston, Massachusetts, and colleagues, “is whether erectile dysfunction precedes the onset of motor symptoms of Parkinson’s disease.”

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They examined the question using data from the Health Professionals Follow-up Study. A total of 32,616 men free of Parkinson’s disease in 1986 were included in the present study. In 2000, the men completed a questionnaire with questions on erectile dysfunction in different time periods. The relation between erectile dysfunction before 1986 and Parkinson’s disease risk from 1986 to 2002 was analyzed.

During the 16 years’ follow-up, 200 men were diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

Compared to men who reported very good erectile function before 1986, those who reported erectile dysfunction had a significant 3.8-fold increased risk of developing Parkinson’s disease, the investigators report.

“We further explored possible interactions of erectile function with age, body mass index, cigarette smoking, caffeine intake, and the presence of diabetes during follow-up,” Gao’s team explains. “None of these interactions was significant.”

These findings, they conclude, support the hypothesis that the autonomic nervous system “may have been impaired years before Parkinson’s disease is clinically recognizable.”

Parkinson’s Disease: An Introductory Note

Men generally fall prey to erectile dysfunction on account of a host of physiological, psychological and lifestyle factors and among all the possible causes that can accelerate erectile dysfunction in men, Parkinson’s disease is a one such physical factor. All the physical factors of erectile dysfunction, including Parkinson’s disease affect a specific portion of the body and lead to the disorder.

A person might be victim of Parkinson’s disease when he exhibits an array of symptoms such as feeling of stiffness in the limbs, trembling in the face, arms, jaws, legs et al and also individuals showing loss of balance and coordination might be identified as Parkinson’s disease victims by the doctor. Parkinson’s disease, the neurological disease, occurs in the central nervous system and accelerates these symptoms.

Parkinson’s Disease & Erectile Dysfunction: A Glance
Physicians across the world are consistently trying to evaluate the association between Parkinson’s disease and erectile dysfunction. Research results make it evident that in men suffering from Parkinson’s disease, nerve signals are not adequately conveyed from brain to the blood vessels in the penis and this improper transmission of nerve signals may occasionally lead to erectile dysfunction.

It has also been found that depression triggered off on account of Parkinson’s disease and the usage of anti-depressants to treat Parkinson’s disease induced depression are probable factors that can result in erectile dysfunction in men. Depression is one of the significant psychological factors responsible for erectile dysfunction in men and when a person suffers from bouts of depression due to Parkinson’s disease or any other factor, his sexual excitement disappears and he starts to lose interest in sexual activity. Mostly in this or similar situations, men are likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

ED Solution for People Suffering from Parkinson’s Disease

After suffering from erectile dysfunction due to Parkinson’s disease, men become incapable of facilitating erections requisite for sexual intercourse and as a consequence their sex lives turn upside down. Nevertheless, the doctor should be immediately consulted once a man suffers from erectile dysfunction and with the help of a physician, erectile dysfunction treatments should be opted for.

Alongside Parkinson’s disease, on suffering from specific disorders such as spinal cord injury and multiple sclerosis, the nerve signals from the brain fail to reach the penis and ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction. Whatever the cause only a doctor can give you the best possible ED solution for your specific ED cause.

Syphilis is back: The sexually transmitted disease long associated with 19th Century bohemian life is making an alarming resurgence in Europe.

“Syphilis used to be a very rare disease,” said Dr. Marita van de Laar, an expert in sexually transmitted diseases at the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control. “I’m not sure we can say that anymore.”

Most cases of syphilis are in men, and experts point to more risky sex among gay men as the chief cause for the resurgence. But more cases are being seen among heterosexuals, both men and women, too.

Syphilis was the sexual scourge of the 19th Century, and is believed to have killed artists like poet Charles Baudelaire, composer Robert Schumann, and painter Paul Gauguin. But the widespread use of penicillin in the 1950s all but wiped it out in the Western world.

In the last decade, however, syphilis has unexpectedly returned, driven by risky sexual behavior and outbreaks in major cities across Europe, including London, Amsterdam, Paris and Berlin.

• In Britain, syphilis cases have leapt more than tenfold for men and women in the past decade to 3,702 in 2006, according to the Health Protection Agency. Among men in England, the syphilis rate jumped from one per 100,000 in 1997 to nine per 100,000 last year.

• In Germany, the rate among men was fewer than two per 100,000 in 1991; by 2003, it was six per 100,000.

• In France, there were 428 cases in 2003 — almost 16 times the number just three years earlier.

• In the Netherlands, cases doubled from 2000 to 2004. In Amsterdam, up to 31 men per 100,000 were infected, while the rate was much lower in other regions.

Similar trends have been seen in the United States.

In 2000, syphilis infection rates were so low that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention embarked on a plan to eliminate the disease. But about 9,800 cases were reported in 2006.

In Europe, Van de Laar said syphilis’ reappearance was so surprising that many doctors initially had trouble diagnosing it.

Though these days it mainly affects urban gay men, experts worry that the disease could also rebound in the general population if stronger efforts to fight it are not taken soon.

In 2005, British authorities reported that syphilis was spreading across the entire country, and that more heterosexual men and women were being infected.

“These increases may lead to increases in diagnoses of congenital syphilis over the coming years,” said Kate Swan, a spokeswoman for the Health Protection Agency.

Pregnant women with syphilis can pass it on to their babies. Nearly half of all babies infected with syphilis while they are in the womb die shortly before or after birth.

Syphilis is a bacterial disease causing symptoms that include ulcers, sores and rashes. In extreme cases, it can result in dementia or fatally damage the heart, respiratory and central nervous systems. Syphilis is treatable with antibiotics if caught early.

Once there are more than just a few isolated cases, containing the disease is difficult.

Advances made in treating AIDS may have inadvertently boosted syphilis’ spread.

“The evidence points to an increase in unsafe sexual behavior since anti-retrovirals for AIDS came along in 1996,” said van de Laar.

After decades of being instructed to use condoms and to limit the number of sexual partners, some people are probably suffering from “safe sex fatigue,” van de Laar said. The Internet has also allowed people to find sexual partners more easily than before, and some experts link the rise of dating Web sites to the jump in syphilis cases.

For some men, the Internet connections can be especially dangerous.

“Networks of HIV-positive men to find other positive men have sprung up on the Internet,” said Jonathan Elford, an AIDS epidemiologist at London’s City University.

Some men who have the AIDS virus are seeking condom-free sex with other men who are also HIV-infected. However, they aren’t protected against syphilis and other sexually spread diseases. Among gay men who have syphilis in Britain, nearly half have HIV, Elford said.

Amid this resurgence, some officials are now attacking the epidemic online.

Every day, health workers at the Terrence Higgins Trust, Europe’s largest AIDS charity, log into chatrooms on a popular British gay dating Web site to spread safe sex messages and answer questions.

“We know that men are arranging hook-ups for sex online,” said Mark Thompson, the charity’s deputy head of health promotion. “So we decided to tap into cyberspace to try reaching them before unsafe sex might happen.”

General information about Syphilis:

Syphilis is a curable sexually transmitted disease caused by the Treponema pallidum spirochete. The route of transmission of syphilis is almost always by sexual contact, although there are examples of congenital syphilis via transmission from mother to child in utero. The signs and symptoms of syphilis are numerous; before the advent of serological testing, precise diagnosis was very difficult. In fact, the disease was dubbed the “Great Imitator” because it was often confused with other diseases, particularly in its tertiary stage. Syphilis (unless antibiotic-resistant) can be easily treated with antibiotics including penicillin. The oldest and still most effective method is an intramuscular injection of benzathine penicillin. If not treated, syphilis can cause serious effects such as damage to the heart, aorta, brain, eyes, and bones. In some cases these effects can be fatal. In 1998, the complete genetic sequence of T. pallidum was published which may aid understanding of the pathogenesis of syphilis.

Current treatment

The first-choice treatment for all manifestations of syphilis remains penicillin in the form of penicillin G. The effect of penicillin on syphilis was widely known before randomized clinical trials were used; as a result, treatment with penicillin is largely based on case series, expert opinion, and years of clinical experience. Parenteral penicillin G is the only therapy with documented effect during pregnancy. For early syphilis, one dose of penicillin is sufficient.

Non-pregnant individuals who have severe allergic reactions to penicillin (e.g., anaphylaxis) may be effectively treated with oral tetracycline or doxycycline although data to support this is limited. Ceftriaxone may be considered as an alternative therapy, although the optimal dose is not yet defined. However, cross-reactions in penicillin-allergic patients with cephalosporins such as ceftriaxone are possible. Azithromycin was suggested as an alternative. However, there have been reports of treatment failure due to resistance in some areas. If compliance and follow-up cannot be ensured, the CDC recommends desensitization with penicillin followed by penicillin treatment. All pregnant women with syphilis should be desensitized and treated with penicillin. Follow-up includes clinical evaluation at 1 to 2 weeks followed by clinical and serologic evaluation at 3, 6, 9, 12, and 24 months after treatment.

Just as our perception about life changes as we grow older, the same applies to our feelings about sex.

When we are younger, especially during the period of our sexual awakening, we tend to be ruled by lust, and this tendency seems to carry on as we experience the joys of relationships and sex.

We may meet our prospective life partners during this period and amidst rivers of sexual intimacy and love, we plan for our futures and start raising our families.

“While sex may seem to be the most important thing in the world when you’re younger, our perceptions about it may change when a woman hits her 30s.

“She’s probably a few years into a committed relationship and has settled into a sexual routine of sorts. The first flush of sexual excitement has died and she may have a young family, one of the factors that tends to affect female sexual desire,” said Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King.

She explained: “Humans tend to experience a phenomenon called skin hunger, a craving for skin-to-skin contact. This acts as a powerful motivator of sexual activity.

“For women with young children, this skin hunger is met by regular contact with the children. The same does not apply to men as they tend to not be as involved in the care of young children. As a result of this, their main avenue to fulfil skin hunger is still sex.’’

As to be expected, women with young families also tend to lack sleep and have to deal with privacy issues. “These factors have an inhibiting effect on sexual desire. The 30s would undoubtedly be the time when there is a great desire discrepancy between men and women,” Dr King said.

She added that many marriages are strained as a result of desire discrepancy. “Because a woman’s sexual desire is low, the wheels may fall off in the relationship. The relationship may become toxic as while he chases her, she withdraws from him.

“Indeed, parenting is probably the biggest challenge to a woman’s sexuality in her 30s and sets a tremendous challenge to many marriages,” she said.

In a couple in their 40s, the challenges differ. “This is the point when men tend to be career-focused while women are preoccupied with their growing families and careers. Because couples tend not to focus on their relationships, there is a danger that they will drift apart. There is often less time to talk, what more issues of affection and sex,” Dr King said.

She says that couples in their 40s should make time for sex at least once a week or fortnight – even if they don’t experience a high level of sexual desire.

“The sexual contact will be good for the marriage as the couple spends some intimate time together. There is a saying ‘If you don’t use it, you lose it’ and one should remember that regular sexual activity facilitates sexual functions,” she said, adding that medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction (ED) may also rear its ugly head when a man is in his 40s.

As a man hits his 50s, he may begin to question his masculinity as it is harder to achieve an erection, which at this stage of his life is less firm.

Indeed, his days of achieving a Grade 4 erection may be far behind him – at least without the aid of medical treatment.

“The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey indicates that there is a strong association between erection hardness and sexual satisfaction, so this could be a fragile time for the relationship.

“While worrying about this, the man would also have to deal with less intense orgasms and a longer recovery period,” she said, adding that while a young man takes an average of 19 minutes before he is good to go again, a 55-year-old man may take anything from 24 hours to a week.

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For women, the 50s is a time when there may be changes in the balance of relationships. “Couples find themselves in an empty house while work pressures may increase.

“For some, life may be easier but this is usually the time when the impact of menopause is felt. This is hardly a pleasant situation and these women must have the patience and understanding support of their husbands,” Dr King said.

To keep the relationship on track – no matter what age bracket a couple falls into – it would be important to constantly communicate with each other.

“Communication is key if a couple hopes to remain close. It not only acts as a sexual enhancer for women but keeps the relationship strong as the couple talk about their greatest fears and desires,” Dr King said.

Sex After 35 - Why Its Different, Why It Can Be Better

As couples approach the middle years, our bodies, lifestyles and sexual responses change. Both men and women have physical, psychological and hormonal changes which are normal, gradual and subtle. The changes can even improve a couple’s sex life!

For women, some of the changes are caused by menopause, which occurs when female hormones decrease, bringing a halt to menstruation. On average, that happens in the early 50’s. But the process often begins in the early to mid-40’s and spans four or five years. During this premenopausal period, a woman’s vaginal tissues may become thinner, drier and slower to lubricate. She may lose protective fatty tissue in the pubic area while gaining weight elsewhere. Once pleasurable, intercourse may now feel uncomfortable, even painful.

Not understanding these natural physical changes, she may complain that her husband is being too rough and withdraw from sex. Her husband may mistakenly believe she has lost interest in him.

Men go through hormonal changes too. Testosterone, which influences a mans sex drive, reaches its peak between 20 and 30 and gradually decreases thereafter. A French study of 1408 healthy men ages 20 to 60 showed up to a 25 percent decline in testosterone over four decades. This is why products such as Natural Sex work for some since, they often result in more free testosterone in the body). Primarily as a result of reduced blood flow, a middle-aged mans erections are not as firm as when he was young.

However, none of these changes should interfere with a full sex life. For example, if a woman has vaginal discomfort, the solution may be as easy as a shift of position during intercourse or use of an inexpensive, over-the-counter water-soluble lubricant. A 40-year-old man’s softer erections don’t prevent him from reaching orgasm.

Indeed, experts say the changes themselves can actually enhance the relationship and make for better sex - if the couple discovers ways to capitalize on them. Here’s how to have the best sex after 35:

Reset the pace. “Sex in the young is fast and furious,” says Dr. Herant Katchadourian, professor of human biology at Stanford University. “It ignites and fizzles out like fireworks.” A man in his 20’s achieves orgasm within two to five minutes after intercourse begins; his female partner may take 20 minutes or more to reach her peak of excitement. “While she’s still warming up, it may be all over for him,” says marriage, family and child counselor Bernice Itkin of San Francisco.

But as a man ages, the tempo changes from allegro to largo. Because of a normal slowing of blood flow and changes in muscle tone, men in their 40s or 50s require more time to reach a climax, and their orgasms are less forceful.

Now a man’s timing more closely matches the woman’s. He may become more in tune with her interest in slow, sensuous seduction. With this kind of synchronization, it’s no coincidence that women respond enthusiastically. According to a 1994 University of Chicago study, women in their 20s are least likely of all age groups to achieve orgasm during intercourse. Women in their early 40s are most likely - and by a wide margin. By concentrating on how he is increasing his partner’s pleasure, a man can increase his pleasure as well.

Take action. “A young man can get an erection at he drop of a hat - or bra,” says Judith Seifer, president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. But after 35, he may be turned on less by what he sees than by his partner’s kissing and caressing. The University of Chicago study found that 51 percent of 25-to-29- year-old men became excited when they watched their wives undress. By the mid- 40s, the percentage dropped to 40. Once couples learn to pay less attention to what they see and more to what they do, says New York City sex and marital therapist Shirley Zussman, their sex lives improve dramatically.

Balance the seesaw. When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.

Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male’s shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his partner or wife to set the pace. And as a woman’s estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.

Dare to experiment. As partners become older, more experienced and more trusting of each other, they may become less inhibited in their views of what constitutes satisfying sex. “When we were first married, I couldn’t have imagined myself saying ‘Touch me there,’” one woman says. “The scenario has changed now, but it’s not that we’re all that different. It’s that our relationship just got deeper.”

Says Zussman, “It’s a time for new ideas, or a new look at old ideas. “Cuddle up in front of a warm fire. She recalls one 40-ish couple seeking to put more zest into their relationship. “Do you ever shower together?” Zussman asked. The two looked at each other. “We used to,” the wife said sheepishly. “Try it again,” the therapist suggested. They did - and it worked.

“Intercourse isn’t everything,” Zussman says. “It’s like the old travel slogan: getting there is half the fun.”

Achieve more from less. The University of Chicago survey showed that nearly half of 25- to 29- year-olds said they made love at least two or three times a week, including 11 percent reporting four times or more. By the early 40s, the number had fallen to 30 percent. The largest proportion, 45 percent, reported sex “a few times per month” (possible due, in part, to fatigue and the demands of child-rearing). Yet more than any other group, men and women in their 40s considered themselves emotionally and physically satisfied by their lovemaking.

As the frequency drops, couples should realize that each encounter can become more special, a moment to be anticipated and savored. In a secure relationship, there is less emphasis on how often, and more on how good. “I find that people in their 40s or so remember this moment or that moment, whereas to the younger ones, it may be all a blur,” says Zussman. “When it’s no longer an everyday thing, it means more.”

A gratifying sex life after 35 calls for a series of adjustments. Some people confront them poorly: the 45-year-old male who skitters off after a 21-year-old cocktail waitress, the middle-aged woman who flirts to prove that her allure hasn’t faded. But for couples, who understand the normal and inevitable changes, and meet them together, sexual pleasure can be greater than ever. Their sex lives will be rich in their 40s, 50s - and far beyond.

Sex After Kids

Tending to small children is not a particularly romantic thing. Poopy diapers and vomit just don’t bring out the vixen in most women.

There’s no doubt about it, small (and sometimes large) children can put a damper on a woman’s sexual desire. The exhaustion factor is there quite often. There can be some resentment about the division of labor in the household. Hormonal changes can occur. Breastfeeding keeps prolactin in a woman’s body and that suppresses sexual desire.

The level of intimacy in the marriage generally goes up when children arrive. Sometimes that level is too high. All the issues that must be handled when children are part of the picture can overload a couple’s ability to be connected romantically.

I have found that most couples don’t begin to get back to anything that resembles their earlier sexual relationship until the youngest in the house is three. Until that time, most couples have less energy for sex. That’s the nature of raising little children if you’re doing the parenting instead of a nanny.

In my opinion, that’s where “dating” comes in. Pick a Saturday night for a date. Get a sitter. Make sure that you get a nap that afternoon (that’s your husband’s duty to assure). Then, go out for dinner and some time for emotional connection between you as adults. The sitter puts the baby to sleep and you come home as soon as the coast is clear. That’s your time to have some sex that isn’t hurried or sleepy.

Put those “dates” on the calendar as often as you feel is appropriate. Your husband then has at least that to anticipate. You feel less pressured on the other days. (Sometimes feeling less pressured leads to an occasional spontaneous sexual connection springing from general good will.)

Does great sex start at forty?

The news that has emerged from a global study, involving 30,000 people - that it is the over-40s in “gender-equal” countries who have the best sex - is, for those over 40 in such places, cheering, but not exactly news. We knew that. If it discomfits the young, and the institutionally chauvinistic, then, well, even better. Advertisers who peddle the notion that only the under-25s have any right to make the beast with two backs should also think again. Or simply think.

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A set of sexual education materials has been the focus of much public concern recently. In fact, sexual education disseminates not only knowledge, but also a set of values concerning sex. Also, it is not about sexual positions so much as it is about the nature of a healthy relationship between the sexes.

This is precisely why the government prohibits those under 18 years of age from viewing pornographic media, as the sexual relationships portrayed therein are often unhealthy and twisted; featuring rape, incest, irresponsible behavior, exaggerated duration of intercourse and the objectification of women.

Obsession and indulgence in pornography can have unhealthy effects on teens. It can potentially encourage irresponsible sexual acts, instill misguided concepts about rape and disrespectful objectification of women and provide unhealthy stimulus leading to unnaturally intense sexual urges.

However, laws cannot function in isolation, and one-sided, dogmatic forbiddance not only has very limited effect, but also goes against the basic principles of education, contributing little to students’ growth and knowledge.

A survey on the viewing of pornography among teenagers conducted by the Mercy Memorial Foundation commissioned by the Department of Health’s Bureau of Health Promotion found that 65 percent of those aged 11 to 24 have viewed pornography. Of these, 15.3 percent of upper-grade primary school students, 38.1 percent of junior high school students, 69.3 percent of high school students and 79.4 percent of university students have seen pornography.

The Department of Health confronting the problem by commissioning the Mercy Memorial Foundation to develop a sexual education curriculum designed to uncover pornography and to teach students how to make their own sexual decisions uninfluenced by pornography. The course is intended to foster critical thinking about pornography.

The basic design concept of the curriculum begins with the intimate relationship between the sexes and leads students to examine the unhealthy interactions between sexual partners in pornographic material to train their critical faculties. Finally, it allows students to acquire perspective on the nature of intimacy between individuals — that a healthy relationship is based on the expression of love, concern and kindness to one another.

Based on teaching materials designed for German children, the first segment of the curriculum for primary school students answers basic questions such as “where do I come from?” using lovable cartoons to portray the intimate relationship between parents. These cartoons clearly convey that every student is the product of their parents’ love for each other. For this reason, the fact that the cartoons are extremely cute and wholly nude, as reported by the media, does not make it “pornographic.” It is rather a healthy approach to building children’s concept of sex.

In reality, whether something is pornographic has nothing to do with the level of nudity. Full nudity is not necessarily pornographic, while, conversely, much pornography is not entirely nude. The differentiation between pornographic and non-pornographic depends on whether the intimate relationship expressed is founded upon love.

Of course, how sexual education is taught is more important that what is taught. The results of this sexual education curriculum depend on the ability of teachers to make adequate use of resources. Hence the training and cultivation of future educators will be key.

Porn without sex ed can mislead

Curious children and young adults can often be misguided by pornographic material if there is not enough adequate sex education to provide them with accurate information on the topic, speakers at a conference said yesterday.

About 100 teachers from elementary to high school levels and sex education researchers attended the conference jointly hosted by the Mercy Memorial Foundation (MMF) and the Taiwan Association for Sexuality Education (TASE) in Taipei yesterday.

Through a survey of 3,614 children and young adults from elementary school to college age, 65.4 percent said they had viewed or read materials with sexual content, such as pornographic films, pictures, comics, computer games or Web sites, TASE president Kao Sung-ching told the audience.

“Most of the students surveyed cited curiosity as one of the reasons why they viewed such materials,” Kao said. “And that’s where an adequate sex education should intervene.”

Intervention of sex education is necessary because “pornographic materials often present twisted information about sex and about interaction between people of different genders,” Kao said.

Through a detailed survey, Kao found that one of the most dangerous pieces of misinformation that heavy pornographic material users “learned” from such material was the “rape myth.”

“Some young adults think that rapes sometimes occur because victims seduce rapists — they believe that some women actually subconsciously want to be raped,” Kao said. “They think a woman doesn’t really mean it when she says `no.’”

A documentary director, nicknamed Taco, who has filmed and directed Japanese pornographic videos said that everything is planned in such videos.

“The scenarios and the positions in a porno are all pre-arranged. We often use fake semen,” he told the conference.

“The duration of the sexual act can be lengthened through editing and difficult positions usually don’t render any pleasure — actors just have to act as if they’re enjoying it,” he said.

“People can really have twisted views about sex if they `learn’ from pornos,” he said.

To provide curious students with accurate information about sex, the sex education curriculum must be open and honest, he said.

“Sex education is not just teaching about the reproductive organs,” MMF chief executive Yen Han-wen said.

Kao then showed the conference an example of a sex education curriculum that he designed.

In the curriculum, students will be involved in a discussion on how the two genders should treat each other according to social norms, as well as when it would be considered “normal” for people to hold hands, hug or kiss each other.

In the “where did I come from” section of the curriculum, Kao used cartoon strips to show how a man and a woman fall in love, get married, enjoy their married life and have sex, as well as how a child is born.

What is sex education?

Sex education, which is sometimes called sexuality education or sex and relationships education, is the process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, relationships and intimacy. Sex education is also about developing young people’s skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education, partly because it is a means by which they are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS.

What are the aims of sex education?

Sex education seeks both to reduce the risks of potentially negative outcomes from sexual behaviour like unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and infection with sexually transmitted diseases, and to enhance the quality of relationships. It is also about developing young people’s ability to make decisions over their entire lifetime. Sex education that works, by which we mean that it is effective, is sex education that contributes to this overall aim.

What skills should sex education develop?

If sex education is going to be effective it needs to include opportunities for young people to develop skills, as it can hard for them to act on the basis of only having information. The kinds of skills young people develop as part of sex education are linked to more general life-skills. For example, being able to communicate, listen, negotiate, ask for and identify sources of help and advice, are useful life-skills and can be applied in terms of sexual relationships. Effective sex education develops young people’s skills in negotiation, decision-making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognise pressures from other people and to resist them, deal with and challenge prejudice, seek help from adults - including parents, carers and professionals - through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education that works, also helps equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information, discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality, including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.

Forming attitudes and beliefs

Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality. These sometimes appear contradictory and confusing. For example, some health messages emphasis the risks and dangers associated with sexual activity and some media coverage promotes the idea that being sexually active makes a person more attractive and mature. Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people’s behaviour - these too can sometimes seem to be at odds. Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural frameworks that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control. It is important to remember that talking in a balanced way about differences in opinion does not promote one set of views over another, or mean that one agrees with a particular view. Part of exploring and understanding cultural, religious and moral views is finding out that you can agree to disagree.

People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed. Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.

Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people’s feelings and options. They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.

While most of us were still figuring out how to flirt through a mouthful of braces, Trixie (her work name) was trying to start her own sex business. “I enlisted the help of the class slut in manufacturing business cards to pass out in honors pre-algebra,” she writes on her web site, “advertising an escort service.” This was the seventh grade. Back then, she didn’t have any takers—but let’s just say that, well, her bed was made.

Today, Trixie runs her own independent porn site, TastyTrixie, where she performs in live webcam shows: stripping, masturbating, or all-around arousing viewers with her internet camera. She also posts photos of herself in sexy situations (Camping trip alone in the woods? Time to get naked!), and hosts ten spy cams positioned 24/7 around her home. For $29.95 a month, Tasty Trixie members have access to her other sites too, like Trixie’s Houseboy, Delia CD, and Spy on Us—sister indie-porn sites dedicated to Trixie’s boyfriend Tucker, his cross-dressing alter-ego Delia, and Trixie and Tucker as a couple. On top of it all, Trixie is also a phone sex operator. Watch her spy cams, and it may seem like Trixie’s day is spent hanging around looking hot. But this is definitely a full-time job.

Tasty Trixie’s tagline is “Not your average Web Whore!” Fitting since her approach to online sex work definitely isn’t average. In her site’s “about” section, she writes that her target audience is “people who want more than anonymous pink parts.” She claims readers don’t want “an animated sex doll” they want “a real girl next door.” That modifier pretty much sums up Trixie: real. Her body is beautiful, but not always perfect. Her spy cams not only capture her getting off on a plunger handle and using a gourd as a dildo, but also her bad hair days.

Unlike most people who want to talk with Trixie, I didn’t need a credit card to get her on the phone. Still, I was surprised when she told me she was answering my questions sprawled out in front of a spy cam. That meant she couldn’t tell me her real name. It’s not the first time live cameras have altered the way she acts. When her young nephew came to visit her recently, she had to make sure his image didn’t appear anywhere on her site—according to credit-card companies who process Trixie’s payments, minors can’t be caught on webcams. And then there’s the rather significant detail that her entire sex life is broadcasted live. I ask if that’s a strain on her relationship with Delia. Trixie explained it actually works the other way. “When we have sex and it’s not caught by the spy cams,” she says, “it’s strangely disappointing.”

Tasty Trixie opened its virtual doors five years ago, but Trixie has been an online sex worker longer than that. Over a decade ago, she willingly left the trappings of a “normal” adult life—college, marriage, and an office job—to get “paid to masturbate.” She started out doing cam shows for a large website called iFriends, where a variety of women are available for pay-per-minute performances. But a big site like that requires compromise, says Trixie. “It’s a limited platform. You’re not always the one in control.” There are certain advantages to working for someone else though, she admits—like an established customer base. “A girl on her own ends up spending so much time just getting customers,” she says, “Putting out ads, posting on message boards. It’s exhausting.”

Though she still performs for iFriends, running her own porn site in tandem has really let her “break out” and be herself. “When I self-publish my website… there’s no one telling me who to be. When I want to do something, I can do it.” Trixie’s unique situation affords her the luxury of speaking her mind. “There’s a lot of safety built in here for being pro sex work. If I were a stripper, I couldn’t say, ‘Hey, don’t think you’re going to walk away from me without paying for that dance’… It’s about safety. Here, I have the privilege of being really vocal.” And Trixie is nothing if not vocal.

For example, in her live-cam shows, where her customers are expecting her to be “entertaining and sexy,” she says she enjoys “telling them things they don’t want to hear.” Like? That she has her period. Or that she has to use the toilet. “They have their dicks out and they expect that they’re not going to be challenged,” she says. “It’s a shock.”

But customers certainly seem to like it. Especially since Trixie, who is in her thirties, forsees a long future in web-sex work. “When I’m forty, people won’t want to see me, but I can think of a million ways to still have a presence,” she says. “This is a project for the rest of my life.”

Trixie Fontaine
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Astrological Sign: Pisces
Zodiac Year: Ox
Industry: Internet
Occupation: WebWhore
Location: Seattle : Washington : United States

About Me

I’m an internet pornographer.

When you’ve got water stuck in your ear, how do you get it out?

My boyfriend sucks it out.

Interests
Stove-popped popcorn, feminism, pornography, gender issues, music, dance, freedom, storytelling, ritual, defying stereotypes, embracing dualities, challenging false dichotomies, soup, autofellatio, pansexuality, gender bending, chili, tea, herstory, Magic The Gathering, photography, honesty, voyeurism, natural bodies, role-playing, taboos, sex, first amendment.

The world’s first “safe sex passport,” aimed especially for users of dating and social networking websites, is due to be launched this week in the United States, the man behind the idea said today.

“Some years ago I met an individual who had intercourse with someone they met online, who didn’t disclose that they had an STD,” or sexually transmitted disease, Gonzalo Paternoster of Florida-based SSP BioAnalytics said ahead of the launch of the Safe Sex Passport on December 1, World AIDS Day.

“The idea popped into my head that people know but don’t tell the truth, and we needed an independent way to verify someone’s health status,” he told Agence France-Presse.

The Safe Sex Passport will be available - at a cost - to anyone over the age of 18 who goes online and orders the credit-card-size article.

“As soon as you order your card, you are referred to an affiliated laboratory where you can get tested for five major STDs,” Paternoster said.

Card holders are tested for HIV, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis.

“When you go to the test facility, you will have to show your official ID to make sure you are the person who owns the safe sex passport.

“The test results are tied to the card. So let’s say now you meet someone: they can call a phone number and get the test results and test date for you, plus identification information so that they know for sure that you are really the person who was tested,” he said.

“In the old days, you had to take someone’s word for it when they said they had been tested and were in the clear. Now you can ask for proof.”

Subscribers will also be provided with virtual health certificates, which can be posted on their online dating or MySpace profile page.

Nearly 15,000 people and several dating websites have already expressed an interest in the safe sex passports and online health certificates, Paternoster said.

The biggest age group showing an interest in acquiring the card are 27- to 47-year-olds, he said.

“A lot of them are divorced or have broken up after a long-term relationship, and now they’re back in the dating world and they’re terrified.”

Sixty per cent of inquiries have come from Europe, where the passport and health certificates are expected to be brought to market early next year, Paternoster said.

US company to launch ’safe sex passport’

A US company is poised to launch the world’s first safe sex passport, aimed at giving users of dating and social networking websites extra “information protection,” the man behind the idea said Wednesday.

“Some years ago I met an individual who had intercourse with someone they met online, who didn’t disclose that they had an STD” or sexually transmitted disease, Gonzalo Paternoster of Florida-based SSP BioAnalytics said ahead of the launch of the Safe Sex Passport on December 1, World AIDS Day.

“The idea popped into my head that people know but don’t tell the truth, and we needed an independent way to verify someone’s health status,” he told AFP.

The Safe Sex Passport will be available — at a cost — to anyone over the age of 18 who goes online and orders the credit-card-size article.

“As soon as you order your card, you are referred to an affiliated laboratory where you can get tested for five major STDs,” Paternoster said.

Card holders are tested for HIV, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis

“When you go to the test facility, you will have to show your official ID to make sure you are the person who owns the safe sex passport.

“The test results are tied to the card. So let’s say now you meet someone: they can call a phone number and get the test results and test date for you, plus identification information so that they know for sure that you are really the person who was tested,” he said.

“In the old days, you had to take someone’s word for it when they said they had been tested and were in the clear. Now you can ask for proof.”

Subscribers will also be provided with virtual health certificates, which can be posted on their online dating or MySpace profile page.

Nearly 15,000 people and several dating websites have already expressed an interest in the safe sex passports and online health certificates, Paternoster said.

The biggest age group showing an interest in acquiring the card are aged between 27 and 47, he said.

“A lot of them are divorced or have broken up after a long-term relationship, and now they’re back in the dating world and they’re terrified.”

Why The Safe Sex Passport?
Because there’s no greater protection than the truth!

Why Have It?

• Take care of yourself
• Shows you are health conscious
• Stand out from the rest
• Builds more trust
• Shows you are responsible
• Makes dating easier
• Respect your body & your partner’s

Why Ask For It?

• 1 in 5 people have a sexually transmitted disease
• 80% don’t tell their partners
• 15.3 million new cases of STDs in U.S. each year
• Average person has 13 sexual partners in their lifetime
• Added layer of protection
• Shows you are responsible

Safe Sex Passport Protects You and Your Partners
80% of people who have a sexually transmitted disease (STD) will not tell their partner before having intimate relations. The Safe Sex Passport is a digital record of your sexual health that provides verification to others of your STD and HIV status through a secure, private database. With your Safe Sex Passport membership, you can confidentially communicate your sexual health status via phone, internet, and soon, text messaging. To keep your Safe Sex Passport card active, just renew your membership and get re-tested for STDs and HIV every six months. Your card and test results remain active until you decide otherwise. The Safe Sex Passport is the only solution that provides independent verification of STD/HIV status in a secure, confidential and convenient way for socially responsible adults.

Getting Your Own Safe Sex Passport is as Easy as 1-2-3
Getting your SSP membership involves only three easy steps. First, purchase your SSP membership. Second, arrange to get tested at one of thousands of locations nationwide. Third, receive your confidential membership card in the mail. Once you get your test results, your card will be activated. Then you can immediately allow others to access your confidential test results. The whole process can take as little as a few days from start to finish.

Thousands of Testing locations Nationwide
You can get tested at one of thousands of labs located throughout the U.S. Virtually all metropolitan areas are included. In nearly all cases, there will be a lab within a few miles of your current location.

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Nipples are filled with nerves making them extremely sensitive sensory receptacles. That’s why nipples are sometimes called the “clitoris of the upper body.” Inside the nipples are nerves called the Meissner corpuscle and a little deeper inside is the Pacini corpuscle, both of which have very important sexual functions.

At the tip of the Pacini corpuscle are layers of epidermal cells with plenty of elasticity set up in a formation almost like onion rings. This makes the nipples extraordinarily sensitive. This is why three in every 24 women who breastfeed experience orgasm, according to figures obtained by U.S. sex scholars Masters and Johnson.

Just as the clitoris hardens when arousal occurs, the nipples become engorged, too. In Master and Johnson’s “Human Sexual Response,” the nipples become erect during arousal. They grow anywhere from 5 millimeters to 1 centimeter, while their diameter increases from 2.5 millimeters to 5 millimeters. This is said to be the result of involuntary movement in the plain muscles (but it sometimes only happens in one nipple).

As arousal winds down and plateaus, the erect nipple shrinks. Or at least seems to, because this is an illusion. Actually, what happens is that the aureole are also enlarged, making the nipples look smaller. When entering the orgasm phase, the breasts also get bigger. They expand by as much as 25 percent. But this only applies to women who’ve never breastfed.

The changes aren’t as pronounced among those who have breast fed. That’s because breasts used for feeding had seen their hyperemia, or blood congestion, functions reduced to a minimum. When breasts reach a certain size, the surface veins start to stand out. Because blood congests beneath the surface, it creates an impression that the breast has become slightly transparent.

Once the orgasm phase has been completed, the breasts deflate again. At this stage, we get what’s called a phantom erection. Moving from the orgasm to the withdrawal stage sees the engorgement of the aureole end and they become wrinkled.

That makes the nipples look relatively larger. The breasts undergo an incredible number of changes throughout the various stages of arousal, but that doesn’t necessarily mean breasts are always sensitive.There’s an old saying that the nipples go dark after childbirth, but it’s nothing more than a fable. Some also say that babies suckling on breasts darkens the nipples. That’s prompted some men to believe that darker nipples are a sign that a woman has had plenty of experience with men sucking on their breasts. This is a complete misunderstanding. Guys apparently have a thing for pink nipples, but color has got nothing to do with experience. The darkness of nipples or genitals has absolutely no relation to sexual experience. If anything, the only physiological reason nipples darken is to make them easier for babies to find.

Breasts and nipples are truly mysterious objects. Women shouldn’t keep them to themselves. Why not get adventurous with them with your loving partner? If you consider it a breast check, you can kill two birds with one stone. Conduct a thorough investigation of the breasts. Check to see whether there are any noticeable changes in the left and right breasts.

See if there has been any tautening of the skin or indentation of the breasts. See if there are any dents or irritation in the nipples. Slide your finger slowly from the outside of the breasts, tracing a line over it to the inside area, touching evenly and checking whether there are any bumps. A bump doesn’t have to be a fully fledged lump. What’s important is noticing whether things are different to normal. That’s also why it’s important to regularly check the breasts and, perhaps occasionally, let your partner help you out at times.

Even the most sexual of women may find their thoughts turning away from intimate relations with their husbands when they have to deal with some of the symptoms of menopause.

Take Rita, 51, a woman who enjoyed a healthy sex life with her husband and liked what she saw when she looked into the mirror until she started experiencing the hot flushes, night sweats and mood swings that are symptomatic of menopause.

“How can you expect me to feel sexy and want to have sex when I’m uncomfortable all the time?” she complained constantly.

Rita is typical of many post-menopausal women in that her symptoms have had an effect on her quality of life as well as interest in sex.

Australian sex therapist and relationship counsellor Dr Rosie King said: “You can’t blame women for not feeling sexy at that point as they are likely to suffer from pain-in-the-neck symptoms such as mood swings, night sweats, hot flushes as well as insomnia.

“The drop in oestrogen levels can also affect the genitals as women experience a thinning of the lining of the vagina. As a result of this, the vagina may become dry and fragile, making sex painful,” she said.

Menopause does not have to translate to the end of a healthy sex life. “Women who take hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) can enjoy a better sex life. HRT is very effective in improving the health of the vagina and it increases lubrication as well,” said Dr King.

Sensitivity to your partner’s needs would increase a interest in sex. “Women need an average of 15 to 20 minutes to become aroused and older women need even more time. Her sexual responses slow down and her orgasm is less intense, but a man can help to increase her urge to merge.

“He should attempt to learn what turns her on. He should spend more time talking to her or hugging her. Buy her flowers and spend quality time with her. These are typical female sexual enhancers and may increase a woman’s interest in sex,” Dr King said.

Dr King added that other factors could affect an interest in sex in post-menopausal women.

“There is an association between depression and menopause, for instance. This could be related to the ‘‘empty nest’’ syndrome. This is usually the period in her life when the children have left home. All she has left is her husband.

“Many women become depressed as a result of the children growing up and going away and there is no doubt that depression is an inhibitor of sexual response,’’ she said, adding that treatment for depression also tends to inhibit sexual desire and arousal.

Ignorance can also be a factor in female sexual dysfunction in menopausal women, Dr King said. “Some women don’t understand what’s happening to their bodies and that it is a natural part of ageing. They blame themselves or their partners for what is happening. This, of course, tends to affect sexual function,” she said.

To prevent this from happening, Dr King recommends that women seek treatment. “Menopause is a time of great transition for women and it is crucial that they seek treatment if they exhibit symptoms. Be aware that help is available,” she said.

She added: “Husbands need to be patient and understanding even if their wives are irritable and forgetful. While he may never understand what his wife is going through, he should realise that these are the effects of the hormonal transition that his wife is experiencing.’’

Worrying about one’s sexual performance tends to be a factor for pre-menopausal and menopausal women.

The Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey (GBSS) indicates that 48% of Malaysian women aged between 45 and 54 and 22% of women aged between 55 and 64 worry about losing their ability to perform sexually as they and their partners grow older.

While their fears may be justified, Dr King is quick to point out that menopause doesn’t necessarily have to be a traumatic experience.

“For some women, it’s a liberating experience as they have said goodbye to period pain and worries about contraception. The good news is that some women actually enjoy sex more because they feel totally free of these worries,” she said.

Is There Sex After Menopause?

Symptoms of Menopause

• absence of menstruation for one year
• hot flashes
• night sweats
• mood swings
• anxiety
• palpitations
• depression
• insomnia
• vaginal dryness
• urinary changes

Sexual Desire and Menopause
Does menopause mean that sex is no longer an important or desired part of life? No! Countless numbers of both genders believe that menopause means less sexual desire; however, that is not neccessarily true. In fact, sex after menopause is often as enjoyable, sometimes even more enjoyable than before menopause. Since you no longer face any threat of pregnancy and your children have grown up, or at least are almost grown, you and your spouse are finally alone for what is, many times, the first time since you married. So, go ahead and enjoy your opportunity to have the best sex of your life!

Yes, it’s true that getting older, often means it takes a little longer to feel sexually aroused, and it’s quite normal to experience a small decrease in sexual desire as part of the aging process. But growing older doesn’t mean that your sex life is over.

If you have experienced a loss of sexual desire since menopause, before you decide that menopause or just getting older is responsible for your lowered libido, consider a few other possible causes.

Many medications such as anti-hypertensive medications, tranquilizers, and antidepressants can change how you feel about sex. Other issues that affect sexual response include diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis, as well as your self-image and the amount of stress you must deal with on a daily basis.

Is Reduced Estrogen After Menopause the Culprit Behind Lowered Sexual Desire?

Researchers at the New England Research Institute and the University of Massachusetts Medical School have discovered an amazing fact. While many of us naturally assume that the drop in estrogen production experienced during menopause is responsible for the postmenopausal decrease in sexual desire often experienced by postmenopausal women, the fact is that key factors influencing who has sexual issues include individual attitudes towards sexuality, overall health and marital status play a significant role in determining who experiences sexual issues during menopause and that estrogen is not related to changes in sexual response in postmenopausal women. Researchers found only one issue related to decreased estrogen production during menopause – painful sexual intercourse.

What You Believe About Sex and Menopause is What You Get?
A key finding, by the researchers, is that the only women to experience loss of sexual desire during the postmenopausal period, were only those women who believed that loss of interest in sex is a normal part of the aging process.

Does Postmenopausal Testosterone Supplementation Increase Sexual Desire?
Many women are able to increase lost sexual desire using prescribed testosterone during menopause. The benefits of testosterone include increased relief of the vasomotor symptoms of menopause, i.e. hot flashes and night sweats; increased energy; a general feeling of well-being; and increased sexual desire.

While some evidence exists that supplementing with testosterone during menopause may increase sexual response in postmenopausal women, there are certain health risks and potential side effects associated with testosterone supplements in women (the female reproductive system naturally produces small amounts of testosterone.) One study presented in the Archives of Internal Medicine and based on more results from the Women’s Health Initiative shows that women, in the study, who used both estrogen and testosterone during menopause experience a 17.2 percent increase in breast cancer risk for each year of use. Women who used either estrogen alone or estrogen with progestins did not observe this increase.

Each women should weigh the potential risks against the benefits of hormone replacement therapy including the use of testosterone supplementation with her health care provider so that, together, you can reach an informed decision about what is right for you.

Two Points to Remember about Sexual Response and Menopause

• Loss of sexual response or desire is not experienced by the majority of menopausal women.
• Loss of sexual desire is not associated with decreased levels of estrogen.

Men Have Viagra… What About Us?
Will there ever be a Viagra for women? According to a New York Times report, a Viagra for women is already under development. However, this drug may take several years before it becomes available for women who suffer from menopausal decreased sexual desire.

If you experience decreased sexual desire after menopause, see your health care provider for information about your treatment options. Also, make sure to talk to your partner so he’s aware of your feelings and sexual needs.

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